Oneshots x M! Reader //BSD

•Dazai- Children•

This is a Dazai x Tired or grumpy Y/n and yes their child is a 1y/o version of Akutagawa cuz why tf not.
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Dazai is chilling on the couch in their home, while listening to music and bobbing his head a little.

Dazai's husband, Y/n, then comes over looking not pleased at all. He's holding their 1 year son Akutagawa like a kitten that just did something bad. Akutagawa's onesie and hands are all sticky.

"Dazai" Y/n said trying to get his attention with a stern but tired expression.

Dazai turns his head to face Y/n and gives him and Akutagawa an expression of confusion "Yes, Y/n? How is it that I am needed?" he asks with a tone of curiosity.

"Why did you give Akutagawa glue?" Y/n asked while raising an eyebrow, holding Akutagawa up a bit higher to show Dazai.

"Oh, I did what now?" Dazai asks in a tone of confusion and innocence, trying to deny the accusation. He is obviously lying, he just doesn't feel like admitting to it.

Y/n, of course, knows Dazai is lying.

Y/n sighs. "I'm starting to regret marrying you..." Y/n groans and starts walking to the bathroom to get Akutagawa all cleaned up.

Dazai sighs and continues to act casual, before getting up to follow Y/n. He doesn't seem all that concerned or worried.

That is until he hears Y/n groan, then immediately springs up.

"You can't regret marrying me! If you did you're not allowed to break up with me! I would like to have more of your kids, we can't have just one! You can't divorce me either because you said that, 'I do not and will never take this relationship for granted!'" Dazai starts panicking and rambling while following Y/n.

Y/n sighs again with a faceplant. "I wasn't being serious Dazai, I'm not divorcing you" he tiredly stated.

Y/n turns the sink on, removes Akutagawa's sticky clothes, and starts washing him in the sink.

Dazai breathes a sigh of relief, wiping away a few beads of sweat from his forehead "Heheh, I knew that. I was just, y'know, playing along!" he laughs nervously before continuing.

"But seriously you can't divorce me, I want to keep having more children with you." Dazai added while leaning on the bathroom wall.

"I know Dazai, I know..." Y/n dismissively replied while washing the sticky glue off of Akutagawa.

Little Akutagawa just patiently sits there while staring at Y/n.

Dazai walks over and inspects the state of things. Akutagawa seems... strange.

Akutagawa is staring at Y/n with unblinking eyes and he isn't crying at all. His beady  eyes have no light in them, they are dull and void of any emotion.

"Hmmm... I believe Akutagawa may be defective, Y/n." Dazai says in a deadpan tone.

"He's not 'defective' Dazai, he's just tired and needs a nap" Y/n replied while still gently scrubbing the glue off of Akutagawa's skin.

Dazai looks back at Y/n and says nothing for a few seconds before suddenly smiling widely and saying in an excited voice.

"We should definitely adopt another three children, then. They would be perfect playmates for Akutagawa to play with!" Dazai seems to have forgotten all about his observation of Akutagawa.

Y/n pauses for a second, before he continues washing the sticky child. "...that's an interesting change of subject" he commented.

Y/n then finishes scrubbing the child, he lifts him up and gently wraps him in a cozy towel.

Dazai doesn't pay attention to Y/n's comment and continues to try and convince him to adopt more children "I know right? Children is our destiny, it's only natural to be blessed with more of them. We need to expand our family! What do you say?"

"We'll talk about this later" Y/n replied while drying Akutagawa off with the towel and changing him into a black and red onesie, before he starts walking to the living room.

"First, Akutagawa needs a nap" Y/n added.

Dazai follows behind them, still trying to convince Y/n to agree with him "Of course, of course."

"We can always adopt more children after Akutagawa's nap. We can adopt one, two, heck even three more..." Dazai says, walking alongside Y/n as he starts to rock their son to sleep.

Y/n chooses to ignore what Dazai said. He sits on the couch with his knees bent and on the cushion, while laying Akutagawa on his chest.

Y/n let's out a small yawn.

Y/n's yawn causes Dazai to catch his own yawn, as he sits down beside Y/n to watch Akutagawa fall asleep.

He's still trying to convince Y/n to agree with him, but he's trying a different tactic.

"Look at his face- look at how adorable he looks. What parent doesn't want more kids just like him?" with every word Dazai says, he has to fight the overwhelming urge to yawn again.

Y/n once again ignores Dazai's statement. He leans back on the couch cushion and rests his head on Dazai's shoulder, while he and Akutagawa both start dozing off.

A few minutes later, Dazai starts feeling sleepy himself. With each passing second of their son's peaceful sleep, he struggles more and more to keep his eyes open.

After a little while longer, Dazai finally accepts his fate and falls asleep beside Y/n by little Akutagawa.

Once the three are deeply asleep they lay in a little bundle together. Y/n and Dazai both laying on their sides and facing each other, meanwhile Akutagawa is fast asleep in the middle of them, wrapped warmly in both their arms.