The 1

This Love Is Bad

"Should we take a break?" asked Dianna.

Taylor froze.

"What?"

"Should we take a break?" Dianna repeated. "This is all just a lot, Taylor, and we are both so busy with work right now. I won't even be able to see you for at least two months."

Taylor could not believe what she was hearing from Dianna. Why would she do this over the phone? Taylor felt history repeating itself and her heart sank.

"You want to breakup?" Taylor asked, her voice breaking.

"No, Taylor. I don't want to breakup. That's not what I'm saying. I just think we are both so busy, and you are going to be putting out the album soon, so your team is probably going to have you do a lot of stuff that I just don't think I want to be a part of."

Taylor was trying to hold back tears.

"Dianna, I'm sorry. I really don't have any say in it. I did try. Why are you doing this over the phone right now? We were just talking about marriage yesterday."

"I know, Taylor. And I still feel that way," Dianna said softly. "I just think I need to focus on filming, and I think you should focus on your work. I don't want to breakup, okay?"

"I don't understand. So we aren't breaking up, but you want to take a break? Does that mean you don't want me to text or call you?" asked Taylor.

"Well, I don't want to completely cut you out of my life, Taylor. That is not what I'm saying at all. Maybe the two of us just need to focus on other aspects of our lives for a bit. This is all just feeling so intense."

"Dianna, I love you. Shouldn't that be enough?"

"I love you too, Taylor. I just need a break."

"I'm still confused about what you mean though. Does this mean you want to see other people?" asked Taylor.

Taylor could hear Dianna being silent on the other side of the phone for a little bit. It was almost like she was actually thinking about seeing other people and that pissed Taylor off.

"Do you?" asked Dianna.

"No, Dianna. I don't want to fucking see other people. What the fuck?"

"Jesus, Taylor. You asked me first. Aren't you going to be seeing Conor anyway?"

"Fuck you, Dianna. You know that's not real."

Taylor heard Dianna's voice break on the other side of the phone. Taylor's had been doing the same for a while now.

"I know. I'm sorry, but I still don't really trust him," said Dianna.

"Well, do you trust me?" asked Taylor.

Dianna was silent.

"Really?" Taylor asked again. "You don't trust me? What? Do you think I won't be able to control myself with him or something? Is it because I'm bisexual?"

"Taylor, what the fuck? Of course not," said Dianna. "I'm bisexual too. Why would I think that about you?"

"You've just been so weird about the Conor situation and now you want to take a break, so I'm feeling defensive and emotional."

Dianna was silent for a bit again and then finally spoke.

"Taylor, I love you, okay? But I need this. I don't want to be fighting with you every night on the phone and missing you at the same time. It makes me feel insane. And I don't know...maybe we should be okay with seeing other people during the break? It doesn't change how I feel about you."