Wandering the Parade

(7) We'll Carry On

Gerard's POV

This was the really bad part. I didn't know what was supposed to happen now. Shit. She was back, and she had her friends and family now. I understood it perfectly, but I didn't exactly like it. I honestly didn't even know why I cared; we had just been acquaintances in a world where no one is supposed to go alive. What did that mean?

Nothing.

Shit shit shit shit.

So I watched silently as she talked with them, Mikey and Frank sitting next to me for a while. At some point in time, Frank migrated to a chair by her bed, and began talking with them. Every once in a while, she would look over at me and I'd smile. This was her life now.

"Are you sad?" Mikey asked.

"About what?"

"That it's over. I mean, she has her life and you have yours. They don't meet; they don't combine."

"Why can't they?"

"Because you're famous and she's..." he didn't finish the sentence, but just gestured at them. "Look at her. She looks so happy and content. This is how she wants it."

"It just feels like it's been long enough that I can't let it go so easily."

"You met her entirely by coincidence. But they've known her for so much longer. She could leave you, and it wouldn't ever matter." He paused, "And face it; you're completely different around her."

"The hell are you getting at?"

"Be real. I've never heard you go that long without swearing."

"She's a teenager. She doesn't do that sort of thing."

He chuckled. "You have no clue, do you?"

"She's not like that. She's a little girl."

"Gerard, in the parade you met a fifteen year old." He gestured to Carolynne. "She is twenty-two. There is a huge difference."

"Screw you."

He looked irratated. Nothing new. "When you had a daughter, did you filter out all swearing?"

"Pretty much. Except when I cuss at you."

"But she has her own life now. You need to just let it go."

I didn't reply. I couldn't say anything; he didn't understand it. He might've thought that, but it wasn't true. It would matter. I knew it, and nothing he said would change my mind.

Carolynne's POV

He didn't come over; not that I honestly expected him to sit and have a pleasant conversation with these people. It would've been unreasonable to even ask that of Gerard. I kept glancing at him, to make sure he didn't leave.

After a while, they cleared out to give me a few moments. Tanner left one of my old sweatshirts and jeans to wear. Frank stayed by my bed even when they left. "You promise you won't leave?"

"I'm not gonna leave, Frank. Just wait a few minutes, and I'll be out."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes, I promise." I'll promise you the whole world if you leave me alone with Gerard for a moment.

Only Gerard was left now. He spoke first, if you could call it that. "So..."

"What happens now?"

"I was going to ask that."

We stood in silence. "Could I...call you maybe? It's been interesting...talking to you."

He grinned, ever so slightly. "I could say the same." He coughed. "Can I come back? Or do you really hate me? Not just for being an asshole, though I still doubt that I am."