Wandering the Parade

(3) Never Coming Home

C H A P T E R   T H R E E

Gerard's POV

It was simple; if I stopped thinking about Carolynne, I could concentrate. If I could just possibly stop wondering on it, I could actually do something. They all seemed to notice I was distracted, but thankfully no one said 'spill.' I couldn't figure out why I even cared; why should it mean anything to me?

It was just these two things;

1) She was in the world, but not the fucking Parade.

2) She joined the same day we showed the world the Black Parade.

I wasn't one for coincidences, or whatever, but that wasn't just anything. But who could I have been in that world whenever I dreamed, and never ran unto her? Did she run from us? I had to figure it out.

I plugged in my computer and at the first possible second I typed her name into my search engine. Carolynne. The first result was about an accident; a girl named Carolynne Font. I couldn’t remember if she’d said that was her full name, so I clicked on it anyway.

It ended up being a news report from 2006, something I vaguely remembered. We’d just been doing touch-ups for the album, and preparing for touring. Frank had probably been a jackass that day, and messing around with all of us; as per usual.

Teenager nearly dies in gang fight at age fifteen on the date October Twentieth, of 2006. Name Carolynne Reyes Font. Special reports say that though she has lost much blood, she is currently steady in her comatose state, and may wake up any day now.

Below, there were pictures of Carolynne and her family when she was alive, and who I assumed was her boyfriend. She didn’t look like the one I knew; she looked happy. The first picture was of her and her brothers; three of them. She was shoved in the midst of dark haired and skinned teenagers, like a beacon of pink glowing from her head. And she smiled.

Oh shit.

I was going to ask her. I had to.

Carolynne's POV

"Yeah, you said that you'd be coming soon. What a load of drivel! I swear the next time that man lies to me I'll-"

"You'll what?" Someone asked, clearly amused.

I whipped around (which seemed like something that happened often lately). “Can I put like a little cat bell on you so you don’t keep scaring the shit out of me every time you appear?”

“I never would’ve pinned you for a girl who said ‘like.’”

“I do a lot of things that people wouldn’t pin me for,” I snapped.

"I'm going to take it getting shot was a new one too."

I opened my mouth, and then I closed it. I did it again. This happened for several times. Then I groaned. "You looked me up, didn't you?" I sighed. "What do you want to know?"

"Where did you get shot?"

I pointed to the spot, where there was I faint blood stain on my dress. "Hip. If I took the fabric off, it would probably still be in there."

"Did it hurt?"

I glared at him. "No, it felt like I was licked on by kittens!" He put his hands on his hips. Damn, he stole my move. "Yes it hurt!"

"They make it sound like you jumped in front of it."

"I did," I whispered.

"You...you knew no one would get there fast enough. You knew that you were going to die."

"It's not like I had a great life. It was a mercy to get out of that place. Anyway, I hated Jersey."

He perked up, just a little, at that. "You live in Jersey?"

"Lived. But yeah, I did."

"What you think of it?"

"Scared the shit out of me almost as much as you are now."

He chuckled. "Jersey. Wouldn't have pinned you for that either."

I sighed. "Screw off if you aren't gonna make any sense."

"I grew up there."

"Congratulations." I paused, "So, can I ask you something?"

"Fine."

"Can I punch you with the hope you might not be so self-involved?"

He laughed. "You could try, Carolynne."

"Or maybe you could stop being cocky," I snapped.

"It's my nature."

"What do you do, anyway? I mean, for a living?"

"I'm not telling you."

"I know you at least sing in your free time, with that fucking demented Parade."

"Carolynne!"

"The curse or the insult?" I rolled my eyes. "Either way; grow up."

"I'm still not telling you."

Oh. "You're a singer! Not just in the parade, in real life? Aren't you?"

He groans. "I'm a singer."

I cackled, more or less. "Gerard, you're a walking cliche.

You're a singer? Like Britney Spears and all of them?"

"No, not like that. A singer in a band. And not like those One Direction kids."

"Who?"

"I forgot; you've been dead. They're some pop-"

"So, basically a shit band."

He laughed. "Basically so. You know what? I think I like you very much." He stops, "Why did you lie, though? About yourself?"

"Because I'm used to," I whisper.

"You know you can tell me. It's not like either of us are going to say things to other people."

"Gerard, you know I do believe that I will get out of here, right? I have to."

"Let me tell you something; faith is a shitty thing. Carolynne, you might never get back."

"Never going home," I murmured softly. "I don't think I can handle that."

"Try."

"But I don't want to." We sat down after wandering; it was amazing how you could have so little feelings and yet need to rest. I hung my legs off the edge of the cliff, like I had the day I first met him. "I just want to leave; I hate this place."

I cringed when I realized what I said; this was his place. But his face was unreadable as always, though slightly harder. "You would like my family," told me, switching the subject. "We're not like yours, in a way. I told you I was a singer in a band? Me and my brother played together. I've got my whole life; my brother, my wife, my daughter...it's like I really have it all. Everything I wanted. But I made a life for myself. Who's saying you can't?"

"Things are different for you; you aren't dead."

"That's a low blow." He sighed. "Listen, I'm sorry. I'll try to find whatever I can just..."

He apparently couldn't find the answer to that.

"I should go."

"Gerard; wait." I touched his arm, but almost immediately he jerked away. "Was the song on the float, about carrying on or whatever; was that one your band did?"

He nodded. "Yes; it was."

"This world...is it because of that song? That stupid. inane song?"

He grinned, only slightly but it was something. "You're smarter than I gave you credit for."

And once again, he was gone in a flash and left me with a string of feelings both good and bad.

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I had to, uh, post that pick because it's Gerard, he's amazing, and beyond adorable.