Together Forever

Chapter 73: Fading

Chaos.

Heap of clothes dumped on the bed, papers strewn on the floor and study table, half opened drawers and books everywhere.

Among all those unsettled things, Sanskaar was seated. Often he made glances at the nook places of his room and went for a quick search of one particular thing.

He stared at the ceiling fan. Of how they turn in rounds and come back to the very place. The loops continued. Very much familiar as his life these days.

No matter what, it continued. Part jobs, haste lunch, quick naps, Asha and repeat. The process started to exhaust him but there was no stop button for him.

The loop would not end. Even if it hurts him in the most brutal way, there was no pause for this chase. Not when Asha started to show symptoms.

Heart burns and fatigue for now. The earnings of several odd jobs all together made few drops of water in the vast ocean. Sanskaar was in need of money.

NGO's he reached out were hesitant to extend financial support. Some of them declined saying it was like pouring water on an almost dead plant.

Those nights, Sanskaar silently cried to sleep. Days passed on haze until it struck him, so sudden that after he was done with his work he rushed to his room.

For the past fifteen minutes, the search was on. He gazed back at his belongings that were all out of place. Sanskaar left a sigh.

On the buzz of his phone, he looked at the notifications. It was from their group but the sender was her. Swara. Nevertheless, Sanskaar saw the message.

It said- Visa process is almost done. I'd be leaving for NY so we'd catch up? Tomorrow?

And there were a couple of replies. Aditi and Arya already made congratulatory notes. Followed by the timings, the place they'd meet. Jay also joined in and he kept his phone in buzz.

So Swara was going. Actually going. Sanskaar rested his head back. The ceiling greeted him yet again. She was going-- far-- so far to achieve her dreams.

And there he was. A fool who slipped off everything from his own hands. Stuck in a loop of misery and the wheels would never stop running.

Sanskaar could recollect that gleam on her face at the mention of piano or its majestic notes anywhere. Just the same way he had stars in his eyes for law.

Swara could always have it. That dream. That stability to turn dreams into reality. And him? Almost. But never his. That was his reality.

No stars. No dreams. He would be stuck in these troubled waters.  Maybe, forever. And Swara-- Sanskaar snapped out of his thoughts.

What was he doing? Sanskaar's hands covered his face. How could he compare? How could he be jealous? Sanskaar clenched his teeth.

He must have gone insane. How-- Sanskaar got up. Distraction. He needed that. Yes, that thing, he would look out for it. Sanskaar glanced around.

He had laid hands on everything. Every shelf and draws. Book shelf too. And the books -- Sanskaar saw just one book on the shelf.

Hard copy of Romeo and Juliet. He grabbed the book and two things fell. One- what he had been searching for. That acting agency card was forced into his fists months ago on the bus.

Two- Their picture. Dressed as Romeo and Juliet themselves. All smiles and stars. The same stars he mused earlier were present in her eyes for him. And he, to the camera lens.

But she, on him.

Sanskaar left a staggered breath. It was wrong. So very wrong to be jealous of her. Not after he had witnessed her rise from the fall.