Lost In Captured Thoughts

Chapter Thirty Four: Permanent Mark

"So what did you want to do today love?" Mom asks me as she washes up our dishes. Mr Garner has gone to shower. I refuse to call him by his first name, I think mums rushing this whole thing. I mean I understand that she doesn't want to be alone for the rest of her life. I don't know, maybe I'm being to overprotective I just don't want to see her get hurt. I feel as if she is ignoring my warnings.

"Well I studied for the English mock with Casper last night and he wanted to meet up today so I said I would get back to him..." I sweetly hint to mum while she turned the tap off.

"So you basically want to go and see him?" Mum says as she gives me a disproving look.
"Mum, I'm not a little girl anymore sometimes I think you forget that I'm sixteen not six" I say as I hug her from behind.

"I know, I know it's just hard to think they you're growing up" she says sadly, looking down and smiling to herself. I think she's remembering something.

"I bet grandma said the same thing to you" I say as both of us laugh at the thought.

"She did but I was much more stubborn then you are. I faked being sick and would skip church since grandma wouldn't let me go to see him" I was shocked at the amount of effort mum put in to a relationship even at that age, but at the same time I'm not. If mum puts her mind to it she'll give it her all. Clearly she's always been like that. I admire her for that.

"Since you love me so much will you let me go?" I say eagerly. She sighs and gives in to me.
Yes!! Thank you mum! I love you so much!!" I kiss her cheek and squeal excitedly.
" You have to be back at five, no later!" Mum warns me giving me a stern look making her point clear. But then, her face relaxes and her features soften on her make up free face.

"So, what's your plans for today?"
"Oh it think it's gunna be a stay at home, invite Shannon over and watch Netflix type of day" mum says as she sits on top of the island, crossing her legs.

"Okay. Well, I'm going to get ready and message Casper." I begin to walk out of the kitchen until mum calls me back. I turn around and look at her.

"Pearl, just remember, be careful with how you use your tongue, they can get really fussy about it" I gasp in horror at my mums words and burry my hands in my face in embarrassment. I feel my face turn a bright shade of red. I walk away in embarrassment. I'm just gunna pretend I didn't hear any of that.

I go up to my room and shut my door. I grab my phone the plug and get on Skype. I see that Casper's online. I message him saying I can meet him. He takes about a minute to reply saying "great! See you in about an hour and a half?" I close Skype and go to my bathroom to shower. I strip off and look at my self in the mirror evening every reminder of the past. They're still so easy to see and it makes my stomach time every time I remover what happened. I shudder at the the first time he hurt me...

(Flashback)

I lie in my bed, wiping the tears from my eyes. I miss Katy so much, I just want to be back in her warm embrace, not in this cold,dark,damp room that makes me feel so uneasy. I want to see Katy's gentile smile and her soothing blue eyes. Not the creepy looks that Mr Spencer gives me, his eyes a black colour and a smile so cold and wicked.

I get up slowly, my back sore from the uncomfortable bed. I walk out of my room and into the living room. The room is dark and dirty and doesn't have any big windows to let the light in. The wallpaper is peeling from the wall and looks damp to me. There's a small brown sofa that looks more like the frame with a tatty sheet over it.
Everything about this house screams danger to me.

I peer into the kitchen and see Mr Spencer having a cigarette as he inhales the smoke with a bottle of whiskey in his other hand. He looked so intoxicated.

"May I have something to eat?" I ask quietly, not making any eye contact with him.
"EAT?!?!?" Mr Spencer roared as he fell of the counter and staggered around before he grabbed onto my throat tightly, making me choke.

"First rule in this house, you never ask for anything or take anything of my stuff? Understand !?!?" He squeezes harder and I trying and nod my head vigorously, tears poring down my face. He lets me go and I fall to the floor trembling. The sight seems to amuse him.

"Now, let's see what this mouse is made of eh??" I hear him whisper darkly as he grabs my waist and pushes me into the living the room and throws me onto his rotten sofa. I close my hard and pray that Katy will safe me.
"Katy find me please..." I pray to myself. I just want to go home, is that to much to ask?

(End of flashback)

I stand in the shower as the I stare at the wall feeling numb. It's like I feel the ghost of his touch on me once again. The memories terrify me and I can't stop myself from thinking about them. I turn off the shower and wrap myself up in a towel. I move quickly to stop myself from shaking again. I wish I could stop thinking about him. But I never can. He's permanent.

(Authors note)

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in ages!! I've been going through some stuff lately. I'm going to try my best to post more chapters. I'm going to France on Wednesday so I'll try to update again.

Also just wanted to say have you read mine and mudbudrocks book 'Angel Avenue'? If you haven't please check it out and all of mudbudrocks books because they're all so incredible. I'm so privilege that you're working with me thank you annabelle ❤️

Thanks you for all reading my book I love you all unconditionally xx