Our little secret.

Sick

"So, let me get this straight..." I let out a little giggle passing the half drunken beer we found. "You practically bullied the hell out of this poor middle aged dude, for like no reason?" I laugh, and so does she.

"Okay, not for no reason. He chained me up to a fucking pipe, in my defence." She replies, trying to contain her laughter. "And besides...Frank was a fucking asshole to me too." There was a moment of silence.

I nod in agreement. "I don't blame him."

She scoffs, looking sharply at me. "Okay, dick." She stares at me offendedly, like I had just killed her dog or something. Her mouth was agape and she had a slight sass to her.

I sit up, making myself look bigger.
"Ellie, when I first met you, you and Jesse tied my shoe laces together and I nearly broke my fucking nose." I burst out laughing and Ellie hides her face slightly in embarrassment.

"Okay, okay I get it." She surrenders. "I guess I am an asshole..." she mutters, making my ears perk up.

Did the Ellie Williams just admit she was in the wrong?

"Huh, sorry I didn't hear that?" I mock, with a slight smug look on my face inching closer to her.
I'm lying of course, I heard her quite well actually.

Though it's funny too hear her say it.

"You heard me." She mutters, once again.

I shake my head, no. "Oh, but I don't think I did, repeat it for me els." I say, grinning from ear too ear, getting closer and closer.

She scoots away.

"Oh come on, you're not suddenly getting all shy just because you're in the wrong now, are you?" I tease, still crawling towards her.

"M'not?" She disagrees, sternly. Fuck me she's so stubborn.

"Okay whatever you say, els." I've reached her body at this point, and she wasn't pulling away from me anymore.

She was leaning back on her hands and her legs were slightly parted, just enough for me to place myself in between as I got closer. I sit down on my knees before her. Ellie tries to put on the 'big man' act 24/7 but it always seems to fail whenever she's around me, and I like it. Makes me feel like I have some power over her.

She looks at me, my eyes then my lips. Before she rips her stare and looks out over the cemetery in the centre of the town, scoffing and shaking her head.

My eyes role to the back of my head, unfortunately not for the reasons I wanted. But because I was rolling them at her, not because of her, if that makes sense.

"Why do you always do this." I huff and relax myself on my knees more, I'm bored at this point.

She scoffs again, "do what?"

"Say you want me, then when you have me...you just blow me off." I scrunch my nose, she's still looking away from me.

"Huh?" She says confused, is she fucking stupid? Like actually, did she get dropped as a baby or something? Because what she's doing is so clear to me, why can't she see that?

"You know what." I clap my hands down into my Jean covered thighs, making sure she heard the slap. "I'm done."

She looks at me with knitted eyebrows, that obviously got her attention. "You what?"

"I'm done." I repeat, nonchalantly and shrug. Although I wasn't feeling so 'nonchalant'.

"What do you mean you're done? Done with what?" She spits, it's scary how easily she can go from one mood to another.

"With whatever the fuck this is." I wave my arms about, I don't even know what Im even trying to say at this point, but I do know that I'm finished with being kept a secret and being treated like her pile of dirty ass clothes in the corner of her room that she keeps re wearing.

"What is this exactly?" She replies, tilting her head.

I laugh, laugh at her stupidity and how blind she can honestly be sometimes, I don't wanna waste my time on her right now. Not when I can be finding someone who actually sees me. I begin to get up but she stays seated, as calm as she can be but not really calm, it was like she had no emotion. I honestly can't read her sometimes.

Once I've stood up I grab my bag and start to walk directly towards the window we came from, swallowing down tears.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

Don't you dare fucking cry in-front of her Izzy she's not worth it, this has happened before and it will happen again be glad you found out the warning signs this early-

"Where the fuck are you going, iz."

Shit.

I don't answer, continuing to climb through the window of the house.

"Izzy." She yells out and I can hear her getting up. Again, I don't reply.

I begin to run towards the stairs and I feel Ellie's heavy footsteps behind me, echoing through the abandoned house we had just snuck in.

"Izzy, you can't run from me." She grunts, and I wipe the single tear falling from my cheek.

To be honest, I was shit scared.

"Fuck off Ellie." I yell back, trying to sound stern but honestly, my voice was all croaky and I felt sick. God, I felt so sick.

I actually liked this girl? Are you joking? I let this girl treat me like shit for the second time. I feel so fucking worthless.

"What did I do wrong?" She yells back, causing me to turn as I reached the bottom of the stairs, she's at the top.

It's not that she had done something wrong, I just knew what she was going to do. She was gonna give me the whole ass speech about how she can't date me because 'she doesn't wanna do that to my brother.' Or 'she's not good for me.' I'm just fucking sick of it.

"Oh nothing els, you're just so perfect." I say sarcastically, clapping my hands together looking up at her bright eyed before spinning my heels towards the other direction, just felt like being dramatic.

She begins to walk down the stairs after me. "Don't be like this, doll." Oh she did not.

I reach for the door handle. "Don't you dare fucking call me that, you have no fucking right." I open the door, I'm crying now. "You know that."

"Fine then, iz." She sighs, "can you just speak to me?"

I turn around and she sees my tear stained face, I just look down at the floor. Once she sees me she rushes to cup my face.

"Hey, hey. I'm sorry okay?" She seems genuine, although maybe she was just used to this sort of conversation.

"I don't want to see you at the house once I'm back tonight." I whisper, loud enough for her to hear though because she quickly removed her hands and placed them at her hips.

"What?" She replied, definitely confused.

"You heard me." I said, kinda cocky of me I know, I only said that because she just said it. Yeah, maybe that's kinda childish of me but whatever, I think I have the right.

"You want me to leave?" She asks and I nod.

"Well where do you expect me to go?" She questions, looking deep into my eyes as I kept my gaze with hers.

"You'll figure it out els." I say, brushing my bag back up to my shoulder and turn to walk away, leaving Ellie at the door.

I bite the inside of my mouth and move on to biting my lips, trying not to break down until I'm
At Dina's.

________________

So maybe I feel like being really dramatic today, OR maybe i just thought Izzy needed to have her moment so don't be mad at me, she deserves this tbh!!