EPOCH: Expiration Date Series Fanfic

An Unexpected Funeral

(Ch.54 "Kisses and Death," the 2nd book, Exported)
Far future, but a different universe.

Bently~~

I sit on my bed, refusing to cry. I can't let myself cry. But... Jonas is. Gwen is. Hell, even Colton is. Colton. Of course, he can't cry in front of the press, but I most definitely heard him in his office yesterday. I decided not to interrupt his tears then.

But why can't I cry? I don't know, but I won't let myself. My son has been consoling his cousins— I don't have anyone to console me. Nobody thinks I need consoling. Most of the grief and sorrow is being directed toward the Preeminence. It makes sense...

It was so sudden. I can't believe we've lost her. I never got to tell her... I knew I could never tell her, but— I actually don't know what I could've been thinking. I wish I could've told her my feelings, my true feelings, for her. But after she got married it would be immoral to even try. I found such a barrier painful.

The applause at her wedding, a marker of her new life and love, but a death to my heart and soul. My chest tightens to imagine her smile at me. The warm gaze of her emerald eyes... but after France, she never spared me another glance. My head aches nearly as much as my heart. I suddenly wish to fall into a coma until my date, but that's quite impossible considering the many years I still have ahead.

I slip off the mattress and stumble over to the cabinet nearby. I open it and slap my hand inside, grabbing any random bottle, two shot glasses, and cards. I examine the bottle label; a whiskey. How nice.

I scoot the plush armrest closer to the table in my room. When I sit, I set up an Amorian card game for two, pour two shots, and relax with one of the glasses in my hand. The watch on my wrist tells me the funeral happens now. I'm avoiding it.

I take the first card: a queen of hearts. I chuckle slightly to myself, she was queen of mine. A drop stains the card... then another... then another... and as I set it down, I feel an onslaught of tears. The water flows like waterfalls. I cry, but suppress any noises even when no one's around. Through tears blurring my vision, the liquid in the other glass looks as if it's gone.

I raise my shot glass, "Cheers, Iris."