Billie Eilish Imagines | my love

byebye maybe idk

hi loves

so my best friend and only friend got a boyfriend, and the second she did she started being really like just not a good friend to me like i called her like i normally would and she acted all like offended and weirded out that i called my best friend and said i was difficult, too much, annoying, and want attention. so thats fun. she was legit my only reason i'm still here, cause she was the only thing that made me happy anymore. 

after about 3 days of her doing this and tell me she would call me and telling me the times she would i would calll her and she'd say she cant cause shes calling her boyfriend. then i asked her like if i did something and she said that ghosting me would be better than her telling me she can call and never do, then blocked me on everything. instagram, snapchat, discord, tictok, facebook, twitter, and WhatsApp and just like normal texting. we live 7 hours away from each other. literally dont have a reason anymore.

like we where so fucking close. like so. fucking. close. we told each other everything and i never ever felt awkward around her. i never felt embarrassed abt anything. she was there when i got my first period and taught me how to use a pad. she was there when i cried, she was happy for me when i won dance competitions, she was supportive of me when i came out to her, she helped me a lot with my mental health and especially helping me not cut anymore, and i still do, but it's gotten so much better. I used to do it every day every chance i got and now it's like once ever 2 weeks. she convinced me to not off myself when i was || this close. she got me into billie eilish. she was literally my favorite person ever. i loved her so so much. 

she told me her boyfriend is much more important than some 13 year old girl who she doesn't even know in real life. 

I've never told her how i felt about myself though. like im obnoxious and annoying and loud and clingy all the time because the last person i was extremely close to said i didn't try enough in the friendship and that i didnt care enough about her, so i try to do it more. idk how to make it so i'm loveable enough so its not that easy to just get rid of me. anyways. byebye 

im probably gonna chicken out of it again but who knows so if im not writing for awhile yk why anyways