The lost widow

Part 4

The next morning Nat woke you up and handed you a crop top along with some jeans.
You got dressed but when you looked in the mirror you just stared at the giant scars on your stomach and arms, Nat noticed and handed you a flannel shirt to cover up which you took with a small smile.
You hopped in the car and she drove to the shopping center. It’s not like you have never been to one, sure you were in one before but never for pleasure you were always on a mission and under mind control so the size of them never really bothered you until now, as you approached the big building you felt a lump form in your throat.
Nat noticed how nervos you were.
Nat: You okay?
Y/n: O- Ofcorse why wouldnt i be? (you played with your fingers as you entered)
Nat: Okay, so where do you whant to go first?
All the stores looked the same to you so you just stood there overwhelmed by all the options.
Nat: (she saw you freze up and took the lead) well why don't I show you some of my favourites and we can go from there.
Y/n: (thankful for her understanding you gave her a big smile and gladly followed her into a shop)
Nat: So you can choes whatever you what, I have Tony's credit card. (She smiled showing you a golden credit card)
You laughed a little and started looking around, after a few minutes you found some clothes that weren't too reveling and you felt comfortable in, Nat also made you get some white t-shirts for gym class.
She paid for everything and you started walking around.
Nat: Hey I have an idea why don't we go pick something up for your room?
Y/n: Really? That sound fun.
Nat: (chuckled) Okay then follow me.
She lead you into a big store with tons of furniture and decors items, she helped you pick out some stuff to decorate with and you headed back to the car.
Nat: Are you hungry?
Y/n: ( not wanting to sound ungrateful) Not really-(looking at the floor)
Nat: It's okay if you are, hell I'm hungry.
Y/n: (you smiled at her) Well I am kinda hungry.
Nat: It's seteld then, where do you whant to eat?
Y/n: Well I've never eaten a taco so that sound nice.
Nat: Tacos it is then.
You both ate your food and went back home.
When you entered the the compound everybody was in the living room Tony approached you and handed you a key.
T: Here kid, the rooms all yours.
Your eyes lit up at those words
Y/n: Can I see it?
T: Ofcorse, your next to Nat go right ahead.
You put all your bags on the floor and sprinted up the stairs, the room was simulat to Nat's but had a window seat and a bigger desk with some bookshelves, there was also a cabinet full of school suplise alongside a backpack. It was all so cool science you had never had your own bed at liest not that you remembered. After looking around you belifloped onto the soft bed and turned you head to see Nat standing in the hallway laughing at your reaction.
Y/n: What's so funny.
Nat: You. (She said carying the bags into your room)
She helped you unpack you clothes in the colset and set up the decorations you bought, after it was all done you stepped back to admire it.
Y/n: Wow this is amazing, it's the pritiest room I've ever seen.
Nat: (laughing) Yea I bet it is (she said wile hugging you from behind) It's getting late whana go eat dinner?
Y/n: Yeah( you smiled and took her hand)
Entering the kitchen everyone was eating at the table so you joined them and sat next to Nat. You enjoyed the food and talked for a bit. Then Tony got up and went to the fridge and get a bottle of water slamming it shut.
You flinched at the sound and jumped up from you chair turning around to face him while everyone stared at you.
Nat: Hey, hey it's okay ( she took you hand and sat you back down) it was just Tony bing recless ( she gave him a mad expression and turned back to you) your okay.
Y/n: Sorry( you said that embarrassed and looked at the plate in front of you)
Nat: You have nothing to be sorry about( she gave you a side hug as everyone went back to eating. After dinner you went back to your room and got ready for bed as you were exhausted from today. You said goodnight to Nat and went to bed.

You woke up screaming in the middle of the night after having a nightmare.
Nat heard you and rushed into the room hugging you tightly.
Nat: It's okay, it's just a nightmare your safe, look at me, hey.
You stared at her as If you'd just seen a gost.
Y/n: I, I....
It was as if you had forgotten to speak for a moment.
Nat: Do you whana tell me what happened?
You just shook your head as you didn't whant to live threw that again.
Nat: That's okay, but if you ever what to talk I'm here.
You forward a smile.
Nat: You think you'll be able to go back to bed?
Y/n: Yeah
She stayed with you for a while making sure you were okay and then went back to her room. You stayed awake the whole night scared to have another nightmare, constantly checking the time and crying.
In the morning you just got dreasse and headed downstairs for breakfast you had bags under your eyes from the not sleeping, your eyes were red and puffy but you didn't care.
Nat: Hey sleapyhea- (she saw your face) hey come here.
You walked over to her preparing breakfast.
Nat: did you not go back to sleep last night?
Y/n: No I just couldn't fall asleep.
Nat: Why didn't you come get me?
Y/n: I didn't whent to bother you anymore I already woke you up.
Nat: Hey thats what I'm here for Im the person you bother okay?
Y/n: Okay, (you said giving her a smile)
Nat: Now let's eat she said putting two plates of eggs and bacon on the table.You finished breakfast and got bored so you desided to explore the compaund. You went around looking at various rooms untill you found the training room, you figured you could use a destraction from your thoughts so you started punching a bag going harder and harder wile thinking about the nightmares, you started having flashbacks to the training and torture all the hurt you have been pushing away all came rushing to the service your knuckles started bleeding but you didn't care you just kept going the pain didn't even bother you as it was nothing compared to what you had endured.
Nat went to your room but when she didn find you she got worried an started looking for you she searched half the compaund but you were no were to be found, so she continued and went to the training room where she saw you tears streaming down you face blod dirpin from you knuckles and you still hiring the punching bag.
She ran over to you.
Nat: Y/n, stop.
She looked at you with horor in her eyes.
You said nothing and continued.
Nat: Y/n, stop it.
Y/na: NO!
She didn't know what else to do so she stood in front of as you were still hiring the bag, not whating to hurt her you pulled you punch just before hitting her in the chest.
You broke down falling onto your knees and she just sat there hugging you until you calmed down.
Nat: Hey it's okay I'm here, what happened?
Y/n: I just-(you wanted to make an excuse but decided to be honest) I had flashbacks and everything just got out of control.(you said ashamed)
Nat: That will happen and I'm sorry I can't help stop them but I'm here if they happen again okay I'll help you you just have to trust me and I know that's a lot to ask but-
Y/n: I trust you(you hug her)
Nat:Hey let me see your hands(she took your hands into hers and looked at them carefully) I'll need to clean this so it doesn't get infected, okay?
Y/n: okay.
You headed back to your room and she sat you down and grabbed the med kit from the bathroom but before she could touch you hand you pulled away.
Nat: I haven't even touched you yet, it's gonna sting a little bit but it's not that bad.
You let her do her thing and she cleaned them out and bandiged them up.
Nat: There much better.
Y/n: Thanks.
Nat: Do you need anything else?
Y/n: No, but can you stay with me I don't what to alone right now.
Nat: Ofcorse I can. (She smiled at the fact you wanted to spend time with her) You want to watch a movie?
Y/n: Sure, I've never actually watched anything I wanted before( you laughed a little)
Nat: Then you choose.( She handed you the remote)
You looked for a wile and finally settled on somthing that looked interesting.
You ended up watching a few movies and you fell asleep on her wile you were snuguling. She didn't what to wake you up so she stayed with you and eventually also fell asleep.