Live Forever

7: Whatever - Part 3

August 29, 1995

As he waited for Hermione, Harry did his best to avoid the angry knot that had set up residence in his stomach. It was stupid, really. Even if the idea he had come up was shit, he knew Hermione wouldn't say anything. But now that he had set his plans in motion for the evening, he desperately hoped that Hermione didn't have to pretend that he hadn't mucked it up. His thoughts had continually returned to the scenario that Sirius had planted in his brain the evening prior, and how much worse it would be to be the one sitting on the sidelines, worrying about the prophesied one...or the one sitting next to the bed in the Hospital Wing.

He'd been a truly shit boyfriend. He'd gone out of his way to stick by her side throughout the day but they hadn't been able to be properly alone, and he hadn't been able to manage to say how stupid he'd been with other people around.

"Harry?" Hermione's voice called from the doorway, "Sirius said you wanted to talk to me?" The hopefulness in her voice drove home what a shit boyfriend he had been over the last two days.

"What is that smell?" she asked as she came closer, her eyes widening as she saw the large pizza on a nearby table. "Is that from-"

"The pizza place in Surrey, yeah," Harry interrupted. "Pepperoni and olives. That's your favorite, right?"

Hermione nodded. "When did I tell you that?"

"I, uh, borrowed your mirror this morning and asked your mum."

"How? Why?" was the best that Hermione could manage.

The 'how' would be easy to explain, but Harry knew the 'why' would be much more difficult. He hoped he didn't mess it up.

"I asked Tonks to pick it up for us. You said you liked it and I was trying to come up with a way to help you...like you helped me over the summer. I know you're worried about me and I was stupid for getting mad at you yesterday. I thought..."

Hermione was staring at him and Harry could see that she was doing her best to remain calm...to remain strong...for him.

"I thought it would be better if I left you alone so you wouldn't have to be around me being miserable. But that was stupid because you're miserable too. It was selfish."

His honesty seemed to take her by surprise. She plastered on a falsely pleasant smile. "I'm fine, Harry."

Harry grinned despite himself. "This will go a lot better if you stop being stubborn."

Hermione's façade began to crumble as she remembered their prior conversation. He felt a keen sense of victory at actually helping her for a change. "You're the one being stubborn," she replied, wiping at her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he admitted.

Apparently he'd said the magic words as she took off in a sprint toward him, burying her head in his shoulder.

"We're going to figure it out," Hermione mumbled into his chest.

"We're going to figure it out, "Harry repeated as he rested his head on her shoulder. He inhaled the scent of her lavender shampoo, instantly calming.

He wasn't quite sure how long they stood there, but Harry didn't mind. She had done so much for him over the years...more than she could ever know. Getting to repay the favor, even just a small bit, felt good. Really, really good.

"I think I've ruined your shirt," Hermione finally managed as she pulled away, gesturing toward the soggy mess that was his right shoulder.

Harry laughed. "Let's eat. I'm starving."

The pizza was a bit lukewarm by the time they got around to digging in but it was still good. As Harry sat there, Hermione embedded into his side and feeding him bites, he couldn't believe how spectacularly wrong he'd gotten it over the last few days. The prophecy hadn't magically disappeared, and he was still just as terrified at what the future held. But right now, at that moment, he was happy. And he had helped make Hermione happy. He resolved to do a much better job of that going forward.

"Harry?" Hermione eventually asked between bites, "is there any reason why we're listening to classical music."

He shrugged. "Umm...I wasn't sure what kind of music you liked. So I guessed."

She laughed. A full-on, proper laugh. "I don't like classical music," she informed, "but thank you for trying."

"Well, what do you like?" he asked.

"I've never cared, really," she answered with a shrug.

"So we can listen to Oasis then? Sirius picked up some other records of theirs and they are-"

"No!" Hermione nearly shouted. "I don't really care, in general, but I know what I don't like."

"Sirius thought they were brilliant."

"Why am I not surprised?" Hermione said as she stood and began filing through the pile of records by the phonograph.

"The Beatles, huh? Dad said they were a bit too soft for his taste. He said the Rolling Stones were better." Based on her expression, she was not a fan of the group.

Harry quickly joined her and changed the music selection. "Is this a Beatles song?" Hermione asked as the record began playing. "I know this one! It's catchy!" she enthused.

"It's from Rubber Soul," Harry supplied, "it was Mum's favorite."

They slumped back into the sofa and didn't move for the next thirty minutes, taking turns feeding each other pizza and listening to the music. At some point, Harry realized that the knot had disappeared. It sparked back to life when he remembered the prophecy, but the knot felt much smaller and much more manageable now thanks to the cold pizza...and Tonks...and Sirius...and Hermione. Unfortunately for him, the music eventually stopped playing and he stood up to put on a new record.

"Harry?" Hermione began as the music resumed, "this night is about making me feel better, right?"

"Yeah," he answered, now confused and concerned that he'd done a bad job so far. Before he could apologize for whatever he'd messed up, she stood and began making her way to the door.

"I'll be right back!" she called, disappearing from sight. A few minutes later she bounded back into the room, holding a large book and pile of parchment. "Sirius said we'll be receiving instruction on this when we get back to Hogwarts," she began, thrusting the book into his hands before leaning back into his side. "I spent last night making notes."

Harry pulled her close and inhaled her lavender shampoo, listening as best he could as she explained Occlumency to him. He fought the urge to stop listening and solely focus on the smell of the shampoo, the feel of Hermione's waist in his hand, and the music filling the air. But this was Hermione's night, and she and Sirius said this was important to learn. So he did his best to listen.