Against the Law

Chapter 21: Difficult Decisions

So, in the last chapter, Emily was sexually assaulted by Jeremy. She's in a very bad state of mind, so she's going to be doing somethings she wouldn't normally do. Also, it wasn't very well implied why she's acting this way, but just know it's because of Jeremy. ALSO THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO HAVE A BIT OF TRIGGERS, SO TRIGGER WARNING.

Emily's POV:

I sat at the edge of my bed, holding the small bottles of pills in my hand. I stared at it, contemplating whether or not I should take them or not. I was having an internal struggle. I've been doing great, clean and sober recently. But this is going to be the only thing that will help me forget him. At the moment, I felt so disconnected with the world, and myself, so what's the worst that could happen?

I thought back to the times before when I used to take these kinds of pills. I felt amazing until I didn't. But the amazing feeling was worth it for me, just a little bit of relief for a while. The relief I used to feel in those moments were undeniable, as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. The world seemed brighter. Although, I also knew the consequences. The depression, not being able to leave my bed for weeks at a time, having no one at my side because I piss them off when I'm doing this to myself...

I took a deep breath, my hand still gripping the bottle tightly. So, with a determined expression, I unscrewed the cap and swallowed a couple pills. I laid back in bed, staring at the ceiling and plugging my headphones in, waiting for what was next...

___

I don't know how long I laid there, but the ceiling fan I was staring at was changing colors on me. I was staring at it and laughing. Then, out of nowhere, I decided I wanted to dance. So, I did. Getting up, I started to sway my hips, I grabbed the hem of my shirt, lifting it above my head, still swaying my hips with my hands touching all over the top of my body.

As I was swaying, I felt a pair of rough hands on my body, I turned to find Jeremy smirking down at me, "Hey, Doll," I turned away from him, still swaying my hips to the beat of my music, letting Jeremy continue to run his fingers all over my breasts. He pinched my nipples with his thumb and index finger.

I laid my head back against his shoulder, staring at the hypnotizing ceiling. His hands trailed down my stomach as I felt his bulge against my ass as I swayed my hips against him. As soon as his hands were on me, they were gone. I turned to look at Jeremy's panicked expression. "Alex is home, I got to go." And then, he was gone. Leaving me alone naked, and with my intrusive thoughts.

___

Dinner was quiet. Alex made pasta for dinner. Jeremy sat next to her with his hands all over her body. I sat there quietly as I twirled the food around my plate. "Not hungry, Em?" Alex asked.

"Nah, I don't have much of an appetite at the moment." I answered, while getting up, "Excuse me..." I left to go to my room. As I made it to my room, a foot stopped the door from shutting.

Opening it wider, Jeremy walked in with a solemn expression on his face. "So, I was hoping I could be real with you for a second." his voice was cold, and he barely looked at me. "I want you to know that you're just a side chick, someone I can have fun with when I want, but nothing more. So, Alex doesn't need to know about this, you got that?" I nodded my head with a sinking heart. "Good. Well, Alex thinks I'm in the bathroom, so how about you help me get off real fast, then I'll go back downstairs with Alex."

Because I believed every word he said, I decided to get down on my knees, and unzipped his pants.

___

I sat on my bedroom floor, my emotions swirling in a chaotic dance. You're nothing more than a side chick. The weight of depression bore down on me, suffocating my spirit and clouding my thoughts.

Here I was again. with the bottle of pills in my hand, the decision to take more pills or not weighing heavily on me.

The past few days have been particularly challenging for me. The dark cloud of depression had engulfed me, robbing me of my joy and leaving me feeling numb. The pills offered me some relief, but only for short periods of time.

As i sat in my dimly lit room, the weight of depression pressed heavily upon me more and more. The days have blurred together recently, in a haze of sadness and isolation. In a moment of desperation, I reached for my phone, and called the only person I wanted to talk to right now.

As the phone rang, my heart pounded. I waited and waited until I finally heard the familiar voice.

"Emily?"

Sorry the chapters have been so short recently. I'm getting over a cold, but I try to update everyday.