Against the Law

Chapter 9: The Talk

Emily's POV

There we were, sat across from each other.  The soft glow of some candle lights, that James decided to light, illuminating our faces.  We have been spending more and more time together recently, and we both seemed to be looking forward to this conversation about our relationship. 

I took a deep breath, my eyes meeting James's. "I've been thinking a lot about us recently, James," I said, my voice filled with sincerity. "I really enjoy spending time with you, and I think we have something special."

James smiled and nodded. "I feel the same way as you, Em. Our moments together are nothing but amazing, and I want to explore where this could lead. We can take things slowly too."

I looked at James as my heart continued to pound faster. "Rushing into a relationship isn't wise, it could lead to complications and missed opportunities for growth. So, I'm glad to take things slow.  I want to build a strong foundation based on trust and genuine connection."

I traced my finger along the rim of my glass of water, fidgeting as my eyes chose to look anywhere except James.  "I also think... it's important for both of us to establish clear boundaries and talk about our expectations. I know this probably seems like a lot, but I've been hurt before. I don't want that to happen again."

I felt James place his rough hand on top of mine. "I couldn't agree more. Let's promise now to be honest with each other and keep having these conversations as we move forward.  That way, we can ensure that we're both on the same page."

I smiled feeling a surge of warmth and happiness spread through me, something I only felt when I was with James.  "I appreciate your understanding, James. It means a lot to me."

As the night went on, we continued our conversation, discussing our individual goals, dreams, and fears. It was a night of vulnerability and connection that I wanted to share with him.  We both learned more about each other than we ever thought we would.

"It's going on midnight. I got to get up early. Would you like to stay in my room with me tonight, Em? No funny business, I promise. I just like having you close..." James rubbed his neck like he was nervous for my response.

I looked at the floor. "Sure, I just have to go get my pajamas on first. Meet you in there?" I asked him.

He smiled and nodded.

I slipped into my comfortable pajamas, my shorts and tank top.  As I made my way back to James's room and came in to see him in his favorite pajamas, his basketball shorts... and that's it... We exchanged shy smiles; my heart was beating faster with anticipation for what's to come.  We both climbed under the covers, leaving a safe distance between us. 

The room was illuminated by the soft glow of the moon, casting a warm gentle light upon our faces as we studied each other's faces.  We were laid side by side, each lost in our own thoughts.

After a long pause, James spoke. "Em, I'm glad you're here." he whispered. 

I smiled, my body filled with affection, something I never felt before. "Me too, James." I whispered back.  Feeling brave, I grabbed his hand, intertwining my fingers with his. He smiled and closed his eyes.  In that simple act, a wave of reassurance washed over me.

As we lay there, our hands connected, we began to share our hopes for what's to come, whispering softly in the night. Our conversation eventually evolved into gentle laughter, as James shared his embarrassing past experiences with me. We eventually relaxed more and more, allowing our bodies to inch closer to each other until we were touching shoulders. 

Feeling nervous, I turned towards the man next to me, "James... may I lay my head on your shoulder?"

"Of course, Em. You never have to ask." he replied, wrapping his arm around her, pulling her close.

In that moment, I felt a sense of completeness, I allowed myself to be enveloped by the warmth of his presence.  As we drifted to sleep, our breathing evened out. This night marked the beginning of a new chapter in our relationship. 

___

I wake up to find the bed empty, no James. James seemed to forget that I, despite my best efforts, always find myself struggling with addiction. So here I was, alone in our shared apartment, and struggling against the cravings that threatened to consume me.

As the day progressed, my battle grew more intense. The weight of my addiction pressed heavily upon me, clouding my judgement and drowning me in despair.  With each passing hour, the desire for the drugs I once relied on grew stronger, gnawing at my resolve. 

I paced the living room, my heart pounding with a mixture of fear and longing.  I had nothing to take, no pills, nothing. I desperately fought against the pull, knowing the consequences of giving in. 

Just as I was on the verge of surrender, a flicker of strength ignited in me. I remembered the love and support that James had shown me.  With renewed determination, I reached for the house phone and dialed a number that had helped me through previous moments of weakness.

On the other end of the line, a voice filled with compassion and understanding listened intently.  It was a helpline that I had called many times before, a lifeline in my darkest moments.  The person on the other end reminded me of the strength that I possessed and the progress I have made.  They reminded me that relapse did not define me, but rather it was an opportunity to learn and grow stronger.

As I hung up the phone, a sense of clarity washed over me. I knew I couldn't face this battle alone.  So, I picked up my phone again, this time dialing James's number. With trembling hands, I confessed the struggle I was battling at the moment. 

James, who had been busy at work, answered the call with concern etched in his voice.  He listened attentively as I poured out my heart to him. I felt like my lungs were collapsing, I couldn't breathe. Despite how shocked he was at first, he reassured me of his unwavering support.

"I'm coming home now, okay?" James told me over the phone as I heard the car door shut from his side of the phone.  All I could manage was a whispered out answer that he probably didn't hear.

It wasn't long until James came into the house and enveloped me in his arms.  "I'm here. Are you okay?"

"J-James... we need to talk..." I breathed out.

I'm adding an extra chapter tonight because I'm going into surgery tomorrow so I won't be able to update tomorrow.