Against the Law

Chapter 17: Regrets

James' POV:

"I can't say it back" Those were the only words that have been on my mind today. Why the hell can't she say it back? Especially after the night we just shared together. So here I was, on my way home from work, dreading it honestly. I was angry and humiliated. I never thought that Emily would be the one to cause me such pain.

I made it into the driveway, slowly walking my drained body up the steps. I walked into the house, quickly making it to my bedroom, so I can avoid Emily. I lay on my bed, contemplating what has happened. This bed held great memories of last night and now look where I'm at.

I must've fallen asleep, because I woke up to a small knock on my door. "James?" Emily said on the other side of the door. "I... I thought you was going to pick me up today, but I ended up getting a ride from my friend. Are you okay?" Her talking was making more and more frustrated.

"Are you seriously fucking asking me if I'm, okay?" I asked her as I swung the door open, making her jump back. "No, Emily, I'm not fucking okay. I confessed my love for you, and you rejected me. All you could say was you can't say it back?"

Emily looked like she was about to cry, and I felt like an ass, but she hurt me too, so I was acting out... in a very irresponsible way, I know. "J-James, you don't understand. I-"

"SAVE IT, EMILY! I don't want to hear that bullshit." I then left the house. I couldn't even look at her. Since when have I ever acted this way? I'm upset with myself, but I'm also upset with her. Why couldn't she say it back? And if didn't feel the same way, why did she have sex with me last night?

As I was driving, I decided to grab a bottle of liquor so I could go someplace quiet and let off some steam. I ended up going to an empty parking lot. I stopped the car and got out to sit on the hood of it. I laid there for a while as I drank the liquor and just stared at the stars.

As I was drinking, I heard a voice, "Hey, baby. What are you doing? Can I join you?" I looked to where I heard the voice, and saw a pretty blonde with a dress, if you can even call it that. And she had so much makeup caked on her face.

I scooted over so she could join me. She scooted on the hood of the car and laid her head on my shoulder. "Sooo... what are you doing out here alone, doll?"

"I'm just clearing my head for a bit." I answered and began chugging some more liquor. She nodded her head in understanding. She looked me up and down, biting her lip.

"Mind if I get some of that?" She asked pointing her chin towards the bottle. I gave her the bottle and put both of my hands behind my head. As I was watching the stars, suddenly the blondes head came into my view. She was straddling my hips.

I sat up so we were nose to nose. "What are you doing?" She started grinding her hips.

"I'm just trying to make you feel good." She put her hands around my neck, so I wrapped my arms around her hips. I don't know what the fuck I was doing. This just felt really good, and I was getting slightly drunk, and a certain someone finally left my head. So, I went with it.

I moved so she was underneath me, and I moved to kiss her neck, smelling her cheap perfume. She moaned and tugged my hair, but I hated it, so I took her hands in mine. I held them above my head, so I could kiss her. I felt her sticky lipstick as we made out.

I lifted her leg, putting it over my hip.

"James...??" I looked around to find the source of the sound and met Emily's tearful expression with a woman next to her, glaring me down.

"Shit..." I got off the woman as I adjusted myself in my pants and started towards Emily. "Em, I-"

"Not another fucking word, man!" The girl who was glaring at me then wrapped her arm around Emily.

"Who the fuck are you?" I scoffed at the girl.

"I'm Alex. We work together, and we're friends if you must know. Emily asked me to help find you, and we looked everywhere, and someone told us you might be here. Emily, let's go."

Emily and Alex turned, but I grabbed ahold of Emily's wrist. It caused her to scream, startled. As I let go, she looked at me with teary, scared eyes. "Em..." I whispered. That made her cry harder, and I let them go.

"Emily is going back to your house tonight, and we'll figure out better living arrangements tomorrow. I suggest you call a cab for you and your... friend." And with that, they were gone. What the fuck have I done?

___

I made it home, and I heard loud music coming from the room Emily was staying in. I walked up to the door, "Emily? C-can we talk?" Surprisingly, she did open the door. Her eyes were filled with tears.

"What do you want, James?" She all but spat at me, but that's what I deserved.

"Emily, I am so so sorry. I was just upset with everything and-"

"And your solution is to go fuck some other woman?" She sniffled and wiped the tears as they ran down her cheeks. "I was coming to explain myself, James. I am so screwed up, but I didn't mean that I didn't love you... because I did. I still do. I was scared, and I know that's no excuse, but you going to screw some other woman isn't a solution either." More tears fell from her eyes, making me feel like a piece of shit. "A-and... and I..." she couldn't even talk because of how much she was crying.

I grabbed her gently, pulling her to my chest. "I'm sorry, Emily." I whispered to her, kissing the top of her head. She grabbed fistfuls of my shirt, continuing to cry. I grabbed her legs, picking her up bridal style.

"Where are we going?" She hiccupped.

"We're just going to the couch. You need some water." I placed her down on the couch and fetched her some water. I brought it back for her to drink "Em... we need to talk."