Against the Law

Chapter 23: You Need Help

Lots of grief in this chapter, so TRIGGER WARNING!!

Emily's POV:

As I hung up the phone on James, I sat on the edge of my bed, my emotions swirling in a torrent of sadness, worry, anger, and frustration. The weight of all my problems bore heavily on my shoulders, threatening to consume me. I was alone. I will always be alone, just like I am now. Sitting alone in my room, I knew I needed an outlet for the overwhelming emotions that threatened to suffocate me.

With shaky hands and uneven breaths, I made my way to the bathroom, seeking for a way out. I closed the door behind me, shutting out the world for a moment, just long enough for me to do what I need to do. Gazing at my reflection, in the mirror, tears welled up in my eyes, ready to spill forth like a rainy day.

Wave after wave of emotion crashed over me, and I couldn't hold them back anymore. The tears I've been holding in came out like a waterfall, each one of my sobs echoing through the bathroom. I let myself feel the pain, allowing the pain to flow freely, releasing the pent-up emotions that are constantly consuming me.

As the tears continued to stream down my face, my body trembled with the weight of all my sorrows. In the middle of my breakdown, James called again. I just wanted him to stop, so I did what I could to get it all to stop. I threw my phone at the mirror, smashing glass everywhere. "Shit..." I groaned as I bent to pick up the glass. As I picked up a piece, it cut me, making me wince and drop the glass.

I stared intensely at the blood seeping from my hand, and picking up the piece, I did what I wanted to in that moment, I cut...

___

I slowly opened my eyes, blinking away the grogginess that enveloped my mind. The sterile scent of the hospital room filled my nostrils, and as my vision cleared, I realized I was lying in a hospital bed. Panic gripped my heart as memories of the previous night flooded back- the desperation, the overwhelming sadness that had driven me to do what I did.

As I scanned the room, my eyes landed on the one person I wanted here, James. He sat on a chair beside her bed with worry etched across his face. His presence brought me a glimmer of comfort in the midst of my turmoil.

"Emily," James said softly, his voice filled with relief. "Thank God you're awake. I was so fucking scared." he whispered.

My throat felt dry, as I struggled to find my voice. "J-James, I... I'm so sorry," I managed to whisper out, tears welling up in my eyes. The weight of my actions heavily on my conscience. I couldn't even bear to look into his eyes. "I just... I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm drowning, and he-"

"Em, calm down. We'll get into all that, but for now, let's focus on you." As I sat up, James got up too, pacing the room. He then stood before me, a look of determination in his eyes. "I can't keep living like this, Emily. Do you know what you put me through?" He took a deep breath, picking at lint on the hospital blanket, "I hate seeing you suffer, and I know deep down you hate feeling this way too. I can see it in your eyes, Em. That's why you... um... did what you did." He grabbed my hands and stared at me. "When the doctors were doing tests, they found drugs in your system. I know your history. So, I think you should go to rehab..." I gasped and pulled away from him, tears threatening to fall. He sighed, "Rehab can give you the help you need to find your way back to happiness."

My heart raced just thinking about it. I was scared. The thought of facing my demons head on, of delving into the depths of my pain. But as I looked at James, his love and persistence shining through, a small glimmer of hope flickered within me. But I was still really unsure.

"James, what if I'm not strong enough?" I whispered, so worried about all of this. "If I fail, I mean... What if it's too late, and I can't find my way back?"

James scooted closer towards me, grabbing my hands and pulling me into a hug. "Emily, you are the strongest person I know," he said, his voice filled with belief in me. "Rehab isn't about failure or success- it's about giving yourself the opportunity to heal, to grow, and to reclaim your life as your own. You don't have to do it alone. I'll be there with you, every step of the way."

Tears welled up in my eyes, I had so much fear in this plan, but I have been trapped in the confines of my own pain for far too long, isolated and drowning in my struggles. The idea of having support, of not having to face my battles alone, was both terrifying and comforting.

"I-I'm scared, James. I'm so terrified," I confessed to him, my voice trembling slightly. "I'm scared of facing the truth."

James reached out, gently wiping away my tears. "I understand, Em. It's natural to feel scared in the face of the unknown. I'm scared too," he said, his voice filled with compassion. "But I believe in you. I believe that deep down, you have the strength and resilience to overcome this. Together, we can find a way forward."

I took a shaky breath, my mind swirling with conflicting thoughts and emotions. I knew that James was right- that seeking professional help was a necessary step towards healing and finding myself again. It was time for me to embrace the path to recovery.

Nodding slowly, I looked into James' eyes, my voice barely above a whisper. "Okay." I finally said. "I'll go to rehab."

End of the chapter. Can you let me know if my writing is getting better? I also realized now that my chapters are usually between 800-1000 words. I hope that's ok.