N touched down just outside the spire with a scowl on his face. Another patrol cut short because he couldn't get his thoughts in order. Normally the mindless task was practically soothing compared to his other pastimes, but now when his mind wasn't occupied it insisted on wandering to weird places. Not dark and pitiful places; he was used to those. But places full of things like hope and comfort. Dangerous places.
After all, things like hope, kindness and empathy had landed him here, stranded on a barren rock with nothing but the past to keep him company.
An image of a certain edgelord literally flashed before his eyes, stopping him dead in his tracks.
"It was nice while it lasted, but it needs to stop!" N growled as he cleared the screenshot. "All I'm doing is putting her in danger and torturing myself with what I can't have. AGAIN!"
He punctuated the statement by kicking a chunk of asphalt at his feet, shattering it into dozens of tiny pieces that sprayed the area like buckshot.
Some of the shrapnel hit a certain symbolically-important car and drew his attention, which is when he noticed something that didn't belong. He picked up the object and studied it for a moment. It was bulky, utilitarian and obviously modified, but definitely long range walkie-talkie.
He looked around for any sign of purple, but he couldn't pick up anything. Not even her footprints in the snow.
"When did she..." he trailed off as the realization hit him, "Touché, Uzi. Touché."
He briefly considered just leaving the thing, maybe attaching a note that just said "No" to really drive the point home. But in the end his subroutines made the decision for him and his thumb pressed the "chirp" button. Within seconds he got a chirp back.
'Well, cat's outta the bag now...Would be rude not to follow-up,' and with that lazy justification, N hit the push-to-talk button. "Hello?"
There was a pause, and then, "Hello. We have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
N immediately stifled a laugh. Even if she couldn't hear him at that moment, he wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
"I'm hanging up now."
"Oh come on, that was funny and you know it!"
"I'll give it a five-and-a-half out of ten," N shrugged.
"Alright Mr. Made in Russia," Uzi scoffed. "So, uh...how's your night? Anything interesting?"
"Nope. All's quiet on the western front, or whatever direction this is. Compasses don't work on this planet. And neither should radio-"
"Neither should your Swiss army hands, your wings or the fact that you drink oil instead of, oh I dunno, COOLANT to keep from OVERHEATING!" Uzi ranted. "But we don't talk about that, do we?"
"I mean...technically your oil does have coola-"
"YOU SHOULD BE OUT RAIDING GAS STATIONS AND CAR SHOPS, NOT EATING US!!!"
N swore the radio nearly jumped out of his hand from the sheer volume of her screams.
"I...I have nothing to say to that, so...Everything good in your neck of the woods?"
"Define 'good'," Uzi scoffed.
"...Not sucky?"
"Less sucky. Everyone's still bastards, but having something else to focus on helps me ignore it."
"That's...good, I guess?"
"I wouldn't go that far, but it's an improvement. So...what do you do when you're not out doing, uh, Murder Drone things?"
