The Illusion of CTRL

A Thousand Deaths

"H-Hey, N?" a voice called out to the butler as a Worker in a maid outfit and rocking a familiar bob cut tentatively stepped into the room. "Can we talk?"

Uzi gaped at the timid creature, still unable to wrap her head around the idea that THIS was V. It just didn't compute. There was absolutely no way that the bombastic psycho killer everyone knew and hated had started out as a skittish wallflower! But here she was, meek and mild in all her bespectacled "glory".

"Of course, V!" N answered as he turned his head to smile at her, but kept right on putting fresh sheets on a bed that would probably never be touched, in a guest room that would never be used. "What's up?"

"I-I, uh..." V stammered, barely able to squeak out a single vowel, let alone actual words, and bought herself some more time by carefully closing the door behind her. "I...I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. Or maybe no foot at all, since this is the longest I've ever spoken to you."

"It's gotta be an 'ugly duckling' kind of thing, right?" Uzi ventured.

She'd seen it plenty of times in various media, and even in her own life at school. Someone used to having nothing is suddenly given something and doesn't know how to act anymore. A nobody suddenly gets invited to hang out with Lizzy's clique, and promptly starts bullying the people she called friends last week. That had to be it.

"Hey, don't sweat it! This isn't my first time being the new guy, and you're all waaaay nicer than my last coworkers were, at first," N replied, still smiling as he folded the bottom corner of the bedsheet and tucked it under the mattress in one seamless motion.

V never would've noticed the hitch in N's voice before the word "coworkers", but Uzi sure did.

"That's just it; that's not how we treat new people around here," V said, fidgeting with her hands before taking a few steps closer. "We're a team, we support each other. Even J is making an effort, and she hates change. No, that was all me, and I'm sorry."

"Again, don't sweat it, V," N said, his smile never faltering. "I figured you had your reasons. But, I can't say I didn't want to know what about me made you so..."

"Twitchy? Weird? Rude?" V supplied, ducking her head lower with each word.

"Uncomfortable," N finished, stepping up to put a gentle hand on her shoulder without even thinking about it. When she jumped he snatched the appendage back like he'd accidentally hurt her. "Oh, biscuits, I think I just answered my own question! I'm sor-"

V's own hand suddenly shot out to grab his before he could shove it in his pocket or put it behind his back.

"Oh, no, it's not you!" V said quickly. "Like I said, it's all me! You're...amazing, actually."

"..." N was speechless from the genuine compliment.

"..." V was speechless from the total failure of her chip-to-mouth filter.

"..." Uzi was speechless from the audacity of this bitch.

"Ooooh, I said that out loud," V finally moaned.

"Yeah..." N nodded.

"Aaaand I'm still holding your hand."

"Yeah..." N confirmed again, his voice going up an octave as blush lines appeared on his screen.

For a moment, V looked like she was about to spontaneously combust. Then she suddenly lifted her head, straightened her posture and doubled down, grabbing his wrist with her free hand so she could adjust their grip into a handshake that was only slightly less awkward.