STAY THE NIGHT || Charles Leclerc

FORTY FIVE

*CONTENT WARNING, PLEASE READ* This chapter contains descriptions of suicide and it's effects on Olly. If you would like to avoid this, please do not read Olly's flashback (after the *).

"What about this Lottie?"

"Yes, Olly, that looks just as good as the last outfit." Lottie replied unenthusiastically

"You're not helping," I sighed "I just can't decide on anything."

"Just wear whatever makes you feel good, Ol." Lottie told me, "And stop stressing over it. It's only Sam Smith."

"It's only Sam Smith," I mimicked my sister's voice "That's exactly why I'm stressing! It's the Sam Smith, my favourite artist of, like, all time! I need to look good, I need to have Mia with me, I want to be..."

"Olly, stop. Just take a second to stop and breathe for a moment. You see this?" Lottie held up my left hand, pointing at the tattoo of Mia's name on the side of my thumb "She's always going to be with you, Ol. She's in your heart, in your mind, and her name is on your hand. Don't worry, sis, Mia isn't going anywhere."

"I miss her." I whispered, a wave of emotion coming over me. "I really miss her."

"Oh Olly," My sister said, standing up and enveloping me in a hug "I know you miss her. I miss Maria too."

"I can't believe that it's almost been five years," I said, burying my head into my sister's neck as I began to cry slightly. "I remember that day so well."

*

October 25, 2017, would be a day that I would remember for the rest of my life. The day that I lost my best friend. The day that changed my life forever.

I remember exactly where I was. I was in the car, driving home from dropping Lottie at college in the nearby city. I'd passed my test just two months before, a short while after my eighteenth birthday. In a rush to get Lottie to college on time, I'd left my phone at home. My plan was to go home for it before I headed to pick Mia up. We'd planned to go shopping together - a girl's day out.

I knew that I was running late, so I waited until I was back in the car and on my way over before I returned the missed call I had from Anna - Mia's mother.

"Hola tia, como estas?" I greeted Mia's mother in her native tongue when she answered my call. "I'm just on my way over now. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Olly, darling," Anna spoke to me "You can't come over today. Mia... she's not very well today. Not very well at all, her health..."

"Tia, don't worry." I told her "Mia's been a lot better recently, she's probably just... tired or something."

"Olivia, please don't come. Not today."

"Honestly tia, it's no problem. If Mia's not feeling it today then we can always reschedule it for another day, I'm almost at your house anyway."

"Olly, please" Anna begged "I don't want you to-"

"Tia why are there ambulances?" I asked. I'd just turned into the road that Mia lived on, and I could see the ambulances and police cars parked outside their house. "Oh my god, oh my god."

I remember getting out of my car, leaving the engine still running, and just sprinting towards the house. The door was open, Mia's father - Marco - was sat on the sofa with a paramedic. He was crying. I'd never seen Marco cry, not in the entire time I'd known the Bradley family.

"Where is she?" I asked

"Upstairs, she... please don't go." Marco sobbed

I turned, running towards the stairs. "She was getting better."  I remember thinking to myself "She'd been so much better recently. She was doing okay."

I ran up the stairs, passing another paramedic as I did so. They were everywhere, I could hear their voices, professional but with a hint of sadness. Her bedroom door was open, and a police officer was outside, standing guard.

I remember running towards her room at the very end of the corridor, trying to get past the burly police officer. I remember him wrapping his arms around me, dragging me away from Mia's room.

I'll never forget the glimpse of what I saw.

Paramedics and their kit filled Mia's room.

But there was no panic, no rush. They'd stopped trying.

I watched them cover her body with a sheet.

It was a memory that still plagued my mind to this day. My friend. My beautiful best friend. My sister. My soulmate. Losing her hurt, but what I saw that day hurt even more.

I'd spent the rest of the day at Mia's house with her parents. Anna and Marco were inconsolable, and our day was spent together mourning Mia. Anna and Marco were like my parents, Mia was my sister, so we mourned as a family. That day, we mourned together.

Eventually, the time came for me to travel home. I remember saying goodbye to Mia's parents and getting back into my car. The sun had already set when I left, and living in a small village where streetlamps were rare, I was driving home in the pitch black. Straight open country roads leading me from Mia's home to mine.

I remember the tears beginning to fall again as I pulled out of Mia's road. I remember changing up through the gears once I was on the straightest part of the journey. Third, fourth, fifth, sixth gear. My foot flat on the accelerator, watching the speed creep up and up.

Then, black.

I woke up in a hospital bed almost 24 hours later. Severe concussion, two broken ribs, whiplash and a broken arm. Not to mention the cuts and bruises that scattered my body.

They let me out of the hospital almost three weeks later, the day before Mia's funeral.

The funeral was horrendous. It pained me to be there. Everything just felt so wrong. I shouldn't be saying goodbye to Mia. We were meant to go to university together in Monaco, start our architecture firm, travel the world together, and grow old together. I couldn't accept that none of it was going to happen. Everything had stopped.

After the ceremony, Mia's parents came to speak to me. They were moving away next month. Back to Spain, getting out of the house where their only child killed herself. But they had something for me. A letter. From Mia. They hadn't read it, they said. They'd just been asked to give it to the girl their daughter loved the most.

It was three months before I opened the letter. Reading it broke my heart all over again...