The Cost of a Dance (GxG)

Chapter 7

   The moon sat high in the sky as my feet carried me down a familiar street. Why they were taking me here was a mystery. I didn't want to see her. Hell, I'd rather dive head first into oncoming traffic then see her. But, here I was, standing on her front porch, my hand knocking on the door without any hesitation.

   I knew it was late, but I didn't care. Hunter was right. I needed to get out of my head. And, after that little display at the club, it needed to happen fast.

   The door opened and there she stood. She was tired. Her hair was a mess. But, she still made my heart beat just a little bit faster. "Macy... We need to talk..."

   "Tess, it's late. What're you doing all the way out here?" She asked.

   "I need closure... I need to get out of my head... I need the pain to finally go away..." I replied, lowering my head.

   Macy rested a hand on my shoulder. "C'mon, let's get you inside..."

   She sat me at her kitchen table and fixed me a glass of water. "Here, drink this."

   I did so, letting the water wash the burning sensation out of my mouth. "Thanks..."

   She sat down across from me. "Sure thing... Now, what's going on, Tess?"

   I felt a few tears well in my eyes as I looked down into the glass. "You... You broke my heart, Macy... You hurt me... You betrayed me... and, worst of all, you dragged my best friend into it..."

   Macy let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Tess... But, I was heartbroken myself... I was losing my mind and I didn't know what else to do..."

   I let out a harsh laugh. "So, sleeping with my best friend was your solution?"

   She shook her head. "I didn't mean for that to happen... We ran into each other at the bar and we started talking about you... I told her that I made a mistake... That I never should've left you... We were both so drunk... She was close to me... She comforted me..."

   I felt my fists tighten on the table, my body shaking slightly. "She was my best friend..."

   I spoke through clenched teeth. "I trusted her with my life and you took that from me... I was happy with you. Happier then I've ever been and you took that to..."

   A few tears leaked down her cheek then. "Tess... I never meant to hurt you..."

   I shook my head. "Could've fooled me..."

   She stood. "Do you know why I didn't try to get a hold of you after the break up? Huh?"

   I looked up at her, but didn't answer.

   "Because nothing I could say would ever make it right..."

   I stood now. "You could've tried. You could've owned up to what you did instead of sending Hunter to my door at three in the fucking morning!"

   "And what good would that have done!? Would punching me out instead have made you feel any better!?"

   "Maybe it would've!"

   She threw her arms back. "Then, what're you waiting for!? I'm right here, Tess. Hit me!"

   My hands balled into fists again.

   "C'mon, Tessa!"

   "Fuck you..."

   "There you go! Let it out! Tell me how you really feel!" She challenged.

   I closed my eyes. "You never cared about me... The only person you ever cared about was yourself..."

   "I can't hear you, Tess..." She said.

   "You're a fucking sociopath, you know that!? You broke my heart, stabbed me in the back, took everything from me that I ever cared about and now you want my sympathy! My pity! You're a coward..."

   The tears poured faster from her eyes and just for a second I felt bad. I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her like I had so many times in the past. I hated seeing her cry. Even after everything that happened.

   "You're right, Tess... I am... I broke up with you because I was afraid of commitment... I slept with Hunter because I was afraid of being alone... I never apologized because I was afraid you wouldn't forgive me... I hurt you, Tessa and I'm so sorry for that..."

   I slowly sat back down, something inside me finally laying to rest. "I do forgive you, Macy..."

   She sat back down as well. "Why..?"

   I wiped at my eyes. "Because... Spending the rest of my life hating you is to fucking hard..."

   She ran her hand through her hair, letting out a sigh. "Hunter told me... She told me about the drinking..."

   I rolled my eyes, tonight's conversation with Ellie playing through my head. "Yeah... It's getting really bad..."

   Macy took my hand from across the table. "Then quit... You don't need it, Tess... Look what it did to you and your moms relationship... Look what it's doing to you and Hunter's relationship. Do you really wanna push everyone away..?"

   She always had a way of comforting me. Putting my terrible choices into a perspective that I could understand.

   "No..."

   "Then, do the right thing... You're the sweetest person I've ever met... But, you're not yourself when you drink. It's not good for you."

   I looked up into her eyes. "I know... God, how do you do that?"

   She gave me a little smile. "Do what?"

  "Make things make sense."

   She chuckled. "You always knew what the right thing to do was. You just needed a little push sometimes, that's all."

   I smiled, giving her hand a squeeze. "Thanks..."

   Honestly, it was nice talking to her again. Sure, it still hurt knowing we were over, but I missed talking to her. Not only was she my girlfriend, but she was my best friend. She was my lifeline whenever I was in a bad mood and she always knew just how to get me out of it. She was my voice of reason and it made something inside me happy knowing she could still help me when I was at my lowest.

   "Tess... I know things ended really badly between us and that I betrayed your trust... But, I still love you and I probably always will... If you ever need anything or just need someone to talk to, I'll always be here for you..."

   I gave her a nod, a warm feeling spreading through me as a smile pulled at my lips. "Thank you, Macy... I really appreciate it..."

   She nodded back before standing. "Now, I'm going back to bed. You're more than welcome to stay the night and I'll drive you home in the morning."

   I stood as well, looking to her couch. "Thanks... I'll take the couch."

   She looked down, nervously rubbing her arm. "You know you don't have to... The bed is plenty big enough for the two of us..."

   I felt my face flush, the urge to feel her next to me again was growing... But, I knew better. We were over and we always would be. "Thanks for the offer... But, I'll be fine on the couch."

   She just nodded. "Ok... Goodnight, Tess..."

   "Goodnight, Mace..."