The Cost of a Dance (GxG)

Chapter 1

   I'm cold. I'm cynical. I've never been very emotionally available. Maybe it was because my mother abandoned me as a kid. Or because I got bullied all through school. Or, just maybe, it's because I let my guard down for once in my life. For the one and only time, I trusted someone. I let her in. And I got my fucking heart destroyed because of it.

   It's better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all... Or so the saying goes. Between you and me, it's a load of shit. I wish I never fell in love with her. I wish she didn't exist. I wish I could go back and do it over again.

   And, most of all, I just wish the pain would go away...

   "Macy... I'm falling in love with you..." I said honestly. It was scary. It's the first time I've ever uttered those words out loud and meant them.

   Macy laid in front of me on my bed, her forehead lightly pressed against mine, her eyes staring right through me. Then, she smiled. God, I loved her smile. "I love you to..."

   I shot awake, scanning the empty bedroom. The slight smell of her perfume still lingering on my sheets. "Fuck off, already..."

   With a groan, I rolled out of bed, checking the time on my phone. "4:32 AM. Great..."

   I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of tequila from the counter, pouring a little bit into the shot glass I had used yesterday to help me sleep.

   I sucked in a deep breath before throwing the shot back, struggling to keep it down.

   After a couple more, I went back to my bedroom and tried to fall back asleep.

   Ever since the break-up, I didn't sleep much. The alcohol helped, but only for a few hours at a time. Then a memory would resurface in the form of a dream and I'd wake up. I've been in a constant state of intoxication for the last six months. I knew it wasn't healthy, but it kept the pain at bay. Even if it was just for a little while...

   By the time noon rolled around, I was finally ready to start my day. I finished off the rest of the tequila before getting dressed and heading out the front door, deciding I needed another bottle or two if I wanted to make it through the day.

   I pulled into the liquor store parking lot on the corner and headed inside. The guy behind the counter looked up and smiled. "Back again so soon?"

   I rolled my eyes as I pulled my wallet out. "The usual."

   The man put two bottles of tequila into a brown, paper bag before taking my cash and waving me off.

   I made it back to my car and was about to open one of the bottles, when my phone suddenly rang out.

   I let out a sigh when I saw who was calling. "Hey, Hunter..."

   "Hey... Are you already drunk?" My best friend asked.

I rolled my eyes slightly. "When am I ever not drunk?"

I heard her sigh. "I'm sorry, Tessa..."

My eyes closed instinctively, memories of that night playing through my head...

"Hunter..? What's wrong..?" I asked my best friend, who stood on my front porch at three o'clock in the morning.

She was drunk, I could tell. She also had tears in her eyes. "Tessa... I did something really bad...

I snapped out of my thoughts. "Hunter... Let's not talk about that today..."

She was quiet for a second before replying. "Ok... Hey, um, I was wondering if you wanted to do something today? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."