The Bachelorette

Week 5. Two-on-one (Part 2)

*At the hotel*
"Do you think it's going okay on their date?" Theo asked.

"I don't know man. I hope Alanna finally sees who Josh truly is. I have a suspicion that that was the intention on the two-on-one with both Shawn and Josh, so Alanna could get to the bottom of their 'feud'." Brent said.

"I just hope Shawn tells her everything and she finally lets him go. Since day one he has been a big ass and it's time for him to go. He isn't good for Alanna. Hell, he isn't good for everyone with that attitude." Liam said, earning a couple of chuckles from the guys.

*Back with Alanna*
When I reached the small tent that was set up for us, Shawn was laying down on the couch, seemingly asleep.
So, I approached him carefully, and reached down to caress his cheek, being gentle to not startle him.

He opened his eyes, smiling and he saw me standing over him.

"Hi." He said with a smile.

"Hi." I said with the same smile.

"Come here." He reached for me, pulling me to him until I was laying down next to him. "How was your chat with Josh?" He asked.

"Um, I don't know to be honest."

"Why?" He looked at me.

"There's a lot of uncertainty in my mind and I don't know what to do. My heart is pulling me in another direction from my brain."

"What's making you doubt things?"

"My relationship with Josh and the rest of my relationships."

"Okay. Are you doubting me and our relationship?"

"Not exactly, but at this point I'm questioning everything."

"Talk to me." He held my hand. "Tell me what's going on in that beautiful head of yours and maybe we can solve it together."

"I'm down eleven guys, and it has come to a point where I have developed deep connections with every single one of you, and it's becoming so difficult to send people home."

"I get it, it must be very difficult to form deep connections and then send someone home."

"Yeah." I sighed. "I just, I feel different things when I'm with each and everyone of you guys, and it's become almost impossible to decide what to do. Even with this situation with Josh, I don't know what to do. I hear you guys when you tell me things about him, I have them present in my mind, but I also have present my connection with him and all of our conversations."

"Is that why you put us both on the date? To see who you would send home?"

"No, absolutely not. My decision was based on your dynamic and all the quote on quote rumors, and everything. Everyone keeps telling me that Josh is a bad person. I've seen you both and your weird and passive aggressive dynamic and I want to know what's that about. You clearly don't like each other and I want to know why. I've seen how he's been with you or towards you and I've heard all of the concerns around my relationship with him."

"Yeah, I know the guys have been talking to you about him. To be honest I have no idea why he treats me the way he treats me. I've never been rude to him or at least not in the beginning. My problem with him is that he's not truthful, and he is an angry guy, he even probably has anger management issues. My question to you is, if you have seen how rude he's been to me and to some of the guys why is he still here? I get that you get conflicted with what your heart is telling you to do and what your brain is also telling you to do, but I just don't get it. What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for a sign to see that he is not right for you?"