Love and Limelight

Chapter 9: Backwash

Needless to say, the following weeks were hard for Raya. She had genuinely embraced her time at Starlight Escape, and over the course of several months, she had cultivated friendships, especially with Ji-Eun and Si-Woo. Even the bullies who had once tormented her and confined her to the props van kept their distance after that. She had felt like she finally belonged.

To add to that, the abrupt shift to a different studio, with a game show featuring a completely unfamiliar format, proved to be more than a challenge. Joining a show already in the middle of the season made everything even more disorienting. The initial excitement of her internship had given way to frustration, largely stemming from the unresolved issues surrounding the incident with Rae Won and her abrupt transfer.

Raya's lingering resentment led her to avoid messages from her friends at Starlight Escape, particularly those from Ji-Eun. There were moments when she longed to confide in Ji-Eun, to pour out her heart, but the weight of the non-disclosure agreement she had signed loomed ominously. She had been explicitly forbidden from disclosing the details of her abrupt transfer to anyone, and she couldn't afford to take any more risks.

As Ji-Eun continued to inquire about her transfer, Raya withdrew further into silence. She gradually ceased responding to Ji-Eun's messages, a painful choice that left a gaping void in her heart. It was a necessary measure to protect herself and honor her agreement, but it hurt deeply to distance herself from a friend who had been her source of solace and understanding.

She usually avoided watching Starlight Escape when it appeared on cable, but one night, as she was channel-surfing, she caught a glimpse of Koo Young-Ah with the members of Starlight Escape, including Rae Won, in an episode where she was clearly a guest. Curiosity got the better of her, and she ended up watching the entire episode.

The episode began with compliments showered upon Young-Ah for her morning appearance, with La Vie leading the praise. Rae Won was drawn into the banter, smiling and displaying his trademark dimples as he joined in the good-natured teasing. Raya's stomach churned, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the screen.

As the episode progressed, the cast gathered around a large table, listening to off-camera instructions on how to win lunch buffet coupons. Those who failed to secure a coupon would be served only porridge, making the stakes high. The rules of the game allowed for betrayal among the players, and suspicions ran high even before the game began.

"Rae Won and La Vie are the most cunning players. You shouldn't trust either of them," Dae-hyun warned Young-Ah.

Yun Jung agreed, saying, "These guys excel at betrayal games. They're bound to get into it."

Rae Won, however, protested. "No, no, don't listen to them Young-Ah."

"Look at this guy, denying it!" Dae-hyun chuckled, while the others laughed along. "You're unbelievable, hyung."

"Even I admit that we're traitors," La Vie chimed in, playing along.

"I've changed now," Rae Won claimed, sparking even more laughter. "I'm serious!"

"I still don't trust you," declared Jung Min, one of the older members.

"Somebody told me it's unbecoming of me to act as a traitor, so I figured I'd change my ways," Rae Won shrugged, eliciting more laughter from the group.

Raya's chest tightened as she listened. Those words sounded familiar—she remembered the night they had bickered at the numaru about how she disliked Rae Won resorting to betrayal to win games. Could he have been referring to her? How dare he? That night, which used to be a cherished memory in Raya's mind, had forever been tarnished because of what transpired after. How dare he use their personal exchange like that? Did he care so little about what had happened to her afterward? Anger welled up within Raya as she furiously switched off the TV and finally allowed herself to release the tears that had been building up for weeks.

* * *

Monday began early for Raya and the Housemembers crew, the show where she was currently interning. Fortunately, she was able to quickly form a friendship with one of the junior writers, Moon Se-ra, who had studied English in The Philippines. Naturally, they gravitated toward each other.

"Did you hear about Kim Rae Won?" Se-ra asked, sharing a piece of news with Raya during breakfast.

The mere mention of his name caused Raya's stomach to twist uncomfortably. "No, what happened?" she inquired, pretending to be interested.

"There are photos of him and Koo Young-Ah circulating online," Se-ra revealed, taking her phone out of her bag.

"Oh, yeah," Raya replied, trying to conceal her unease. For a brief moment, she worried that their photo had somehow made its way online, potentially adding more turmoil to her already challenging life.

"Do you know anything about it?" Se-ra asked, her eyes widening with curiosity.

Raya quickly shook her head. "What? No," she said, feigning ignorance. "Why would I?"

"I just thought you might have some inside information since you worked on the show before," Se-ra explained.

"Oh, no," Raya responded, trying to sound casual. "I just meant that I've seen the rumors online too. I thought there was some new development."

During a break, Raya seized the opportunity to look up the rumor online herself. There, on various websites and social media platforms, were the photos of Young-Ah and Rae Won sitting closer than usual on the set of Starlight Escape.

Could this be why everyone seemed so eager to remove her from the show, even though there wasn't really anything going on between her and Rae Won? Were they trying to protect his relationship with Young-Ah?

If that's the case, why didn't they just communicate that to her? Instead of treating her like she was disposable?

She had been mistaken in thinking that Rae Won genuinely cared about her. She had believed he was someone who cared about the people around him. It seemed she was mistaken; he had a "main character" mentality like many actors. They often believe the world revolves around them, and everyone else exists to cater to them or contribute to their story. If you don't fit into the narrative they want for their life, you can easily be discarded like unwanted baggage.

Raya felt deeply disappointed in herself. How had she allowed herself to be so foolish?

A maelstrom of emotions swirled within Raya—anger, regret, frustration, and a profound sense of being wronged. At that moment, she vowed to be more cautious about forming new friendships and giving her trust to others.