A Tale Of Shadows (Wattys 2023) - REPLACED BY DIVINE ASCENSION

Chapter 15 - Rift

There was now a huge rift in Griselda's mind. Her reality was completely broken. As she stood at the balcony on a day in July that was appropriately gloomy and Gothic, caressing her thin nightgown made of white lace with the winds of cold, obscuring the landscape with an oppressive layer of fog, tormenting the already withering cherry trees that stood right beneath her in the courtyard, she contemplated everything. Her mother had always seemed to her a loving and caring person who treated her fairly, but because she now knew her to be an evil overlord, that could no longer be true in real life, even though it was still somewhat true in her heart.

Her mind refused to accept the reality because of one fell swoop, even though the truth had been obvious for years in hindsight. Her mother tried to talk to her still, but it was not certain whether the efforts to amend the damage she had done were genuine, or whether she was a pawn on her mother's morbid chessboard of life and death. Disgusted by the most definitely warranted ambiguity of the situation, Griselda avoided her mother like the plague, unflinching in her attempt even as she was her supposed sorrow.

Griselda avoided life in general, leaving everyone at the court to be worried for her. She clung to nothing else but the ghost of her father, who she felt was the only person left who truly showed appreciation for her, even though it was not certain whether he was real or whether her and her mother's ability to see ghosts represented a hereditary symptom of insanity. She could not care less because he was there and he honestly loved her and it was all that mattered. Not everything in her life needed to be overly complicated.

She often thought about how much she wanted to join him, and so she made an attempt on yet another gloomy, Gothic morning in July wherein the winds of cold sent chills through her nightgown. As she climbed the fence of the balcony, she failed to see how tall it was because of the fog. She looked at the sky which was entirely engulfed by clouds, allowing no ray of the Sun to shine through, beginning to talk to herself:

"This is it. This is the end of my suffering. There is no point in life, and if I die, I will teach my mother that her path is wrong and that it always has been. I love you, Father, for I see no flaws within your heart. I may be blinded, but all I want is simple affection, which life cannot give me. Life is for the living, and since I cannot feel life within me, I do not belong to this world anymore. The afterlife is bound to exist in a realm such as this, and I am certain to find peace there. 

And so I say goodbye to this world, a truly belated goodbye, to be honest. I am a terrible person who should have been a miscarriage like the rest of my siblings. It would have done all of us much good. But alas, there was no other way. And so into the darkness I go at last, a darkness which is much more comforting than that within my mother's heart and within the heart of all the world. It is merely a deep sleep. There shall no longer exist the burden of waking up. All I need to do is make the jump."

However, she could not bring herself to make the jump for two reasons. The first was the fact that she feared the heights despite all the fog covering them up, and the second was that she knew she had to be brave so that she could help restore justice to the land. Thus she stood there for quite a while, not doing anything, which in the end caused her to groan and leave. The option still lay in her heart, but she doubted she would seriously consider it again. She was ready to go on with her day when her mother cornered her at the balcony door.

"To be or not to be, that is the question," she deadpanned, provoking her daughter's ire.

"How much of a terrible person do you have to be?!" Griselda screamed, waving her hands in the air.

"I am sorry to have offended you," Melinda said solemnly. "I am also sorry to have lied to you, but there was no other way. You could never truly understand it, but now that you know the truth, you could join me and we could have a happy relationship again. Would it not be great to be the heir to a grand empire? I may be committing atrocities, but the world I want to create will be based on law and order, and there will be no such things as child soldiers or constant backstabbing ever again. The world will be forced to respect me, respect us. Is there not a better future for you?"

"Never," Griselda snarled, utterly appalled and befuddled by her bizarre philosophy, leaving her mother to stand there in shock and her heart to be burdened by what she was sure to have to do soon.