A Tale Of Shadows (Wattys 2023) - REPLACED BY DIVINE ASCENSION

Chapter 8 - The Library

Melinda was still very much in a mournful mood when she came back to the castle. The rays of the brightly shining sun gave the landscape some levity at once, but it did not distract much from her thoughts. Their beauty would not last forever, as ghosts do. The ghost of Jeffrey lingered above her still, enchanting her with his simple magnificence. A blooming love was lost to the winds of life, a perfect marriage nipped in the bud. She yearned for another opportunity already, unseemly as it was. These thoughts were immensely disturbing to her, so she went to the library to get away from them.

It was a lovely place with its hazelnut walls and tall bookshelves carved out of oak, carrying countless books of various periods and cultures with covers painted in different colours, stretching on endlessly like a giant labyrinth. Every corner inspired intrigue, every novel inspired wonder, every scent inspired comfort. It was her favourite room of the hundreds located within the enormous palace, which said a lot. With much excitement, she went over to the nearest reading chair but was startled to see Malcolm in it, who was startled to see her as well.

"My Queen," he stammered, dropping his book on the ground. "What are you doing here?"

She laughed awkwardly. "I have had some unsettling thoughts recently, so I came here to revisit my favourite book, its splendid characterisation, gentle flow of words, stark wit and marvellous romance never failing to impress me, comforting me many times over the years when I felt ill of mind. What are you reading?"

He shrugged limply. "Oh, it's not important, really-"

"Let me see," she said, picking up the thick brown tome from the floor, smirking knowingly at him despite all his embarrassment when she read that the title was On The Female Body.

"I'm interested in this side of science," he explained clumsily before she could ask him anything.

She stroked her chin. "Hm... I was not expecting this at all, but there are many potential reasons for you to be interested. I must add that I have read this book before, though not for the reasons that you may expect. I suppose that you now want to ask why that is so. I am pregnant with the King's child now, and I have been pregnant three times before, and, as you may notice, none of these pregnancies came to term. That might be why you are reading this book, to unravel the mystery of my womb, but I shall tell you plainly. 

I have a genetic deficiency that makes giving birth difficult, if not impossible. I have always wanted to be a mother. This provokes much sorrow within me, but I do not blame you for your curiosity. It is not your fault at all. I too would want to know..."

As she burst into tears, he stared at her intensely, wiping the tears from her eyes delicately with the tips of his fingers.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" she asked bemusedly as seconds passed and he kept staring at her, forgetting about all that reality contained but her.

"You look so beautiful even in vast sadness," he said, cupping her face in his hands. "Your eyes in particular. I would not want them to lose their vivacity for anything in the world."

"Thank you, my friend," she said, pulling him into a tight hug. "For a moment there, I thought that the history of my pregnancies had frightened you and awakened a sense of disgust for me. I should have known that you would never stoop so low. You are the only person left who truly understands me."

"I could never be disgusted by you," he whispered into her ear. "Not even by your murder of your husband."

Her face instantly paled like rotten milk. She was expecting him to be disgusted by the latter, like any normal person, but he admired her so much that it was nothing more than a minor inconvenience to him. She remembered her dreams, and she wanted to follow them, to lift her spirit into the skies through his red robe that smelled of roasted almonds and coffee and through the gentle kisses that he would plant onto her neck and the rest of her body as well. 

He seemed to be inviting her with his voice, relishing the emptiness of her bed, and she blushed heavily at his closeness and friendliness. However, she must have been merely imagining it, the same way that her mind was imagining an attraction towards him that never existed in her heart in the first place, for it was surely simply a very strong friendship.

"You are such a good friend," she said, smiling widely. "I very much cherish our friendship. You are so sweet and thoughtful towards me. I love your presence in my life. It even appears in my dreams. I had a dream in which we did the deed roughly against the bark of a peach tree in the palace orchard, and I moaned sweetly as you rubbed my breasts like dough, and the landscape was beautiful and our love was beautiful and everything was. Dreams are strange, though, and have no place in reality. The only real thing about that dream is that I have a connection with you. It cannot be anything beyond that."

"It cannot," he said, shaking his head. "I harbour a respect for this country and your honour, and just because you murdered your husband doesn't mean that... Wait, why did you murder him in the first place?"

She let out a deep sigh. "I have been preparing for this moment. I thought that you wouldn't tolerate my presence after what I have done, and as I sat by my windows and watched a butterfly fly by in its one day of life, I thought a lot of thoughts. I have many cruel intentions. For example, I intend to restore the institution of slavery, creating the lie that I shall spread equality to the poor people and invest money and doing so, instead locking them up and spending said money on plentiful luxuries and lavish parties. I want a golden age. Do you not want it as well?"

He gasped, covering his mouth with his hands. "This is monstrous! I know exactly what you intend to do. The book has given you quite a few ideas, I see. But how shall you thrive? How shall you live with this malevolence?"

"I will find a way," she said obstinately, "even if you do not care to join me."

"I shall," he said, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I care a lot about our... Friendship."

"Thank you for your support, my friend," she said, smiling warmly at him. "I truly appreciate it. Duty calls, though. Farewell for now."

"Farewell to you as well," he said quietly, left alone to ponder the mysteries of the strange woman as she slammed the door.