Not Just Fan Service

stage 1: lose it

★·.·'𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚎'·.·★

Jisung had come to the conclusion that he'd simply lost his mind. Decided he had to have been making things up because there was just no way. There was no way his heart jumped and he immediately felt bubbly when he saw he'd gotten Minho for his mission during the filming of their S-Class music video. There was no way his heart skipped when he was only standing next to Minho as they watched the scene they'd just recorded during their DLC video shoot. There was no way his heart felt like it was beating out of his chest like some cartoon when he was simply hanging out with Minho in between scenes in the boxing ring. There was also no just no way Minho sat on his lap to lift weights in between scenes on the same day and surely no way Jisung felt like he couldn't breathe not because Minho was on his lap, but from the other factors that he couldn't even quite piece together simply because he didn't even have all the pieces.

And there was no way his heart was doing anything during that moment either. And also not when he was watching Minho dance for his scenes. There was no way that just standing beside the older made his heart beat faster and certainly no way it got worse when Minho slung an arm around his shoulder or touched his arm with his hand or anything. He was losing his mind. That was it.

He totally didn't feel giddy during his interactions with Minho during their Stay anniversary live, and he sure as hell didn't nearly outwardly panic when he, Minho, and Felix were playing the 'I love you' game and Minho, who was supposed to say it to Felix, turned at the last minute to say it to Jisung instead. And Jisung chuckled at himself for his thinking because it was just some stupid game, that's all it ever was and would be. He was so ridiculous for getting so worked up over something so stupid.

Jisung felt crazy throughout the Dome tour shows, too. Again, his mind came up with things that his heart wasn't simply doing. He wasn't feeling anything when Minho was playing around with him. Wasn't feeling anything when Minho asked if he wanted to go check out the couple's seats. Wasn't feeling anything when they did the couple's shot drink thing (what is it even called?). And Jisung was certainly not finding it difficult to hide whatever it was he was feeling during the shows at all.

The only moment he felt relatively normal to how he and Minho have acted around one another the past six years of their career, was when they did yet another episode of their SKZ Family skit. It felt normal to flirt with the older and make jokes about possibly being Felix's dad instead of his uncle. It just felt so normal to play along with the joke that he and Minho had gone on a blind date. Felt normal to play along like he and the older had been having an affair within the family. Felt normal to hear Minho call him, "honey." Maybe it just felt natural because it felt...right? What was he even thinking?

What didn't feel normal, was some of the things he had conjured up that his heart was doing. For nights on end after the Maniac tour concluded, and after the family skit filming, Jisung would stay up later than he planned to, staring at his ceiling while trying to figure out what the hell was going on like he was binge watching a good murder mystery. Because, really, why was he suddenly feeling different around Minho? No, why was he suddenly thinking he was feeling different around Minho?

One night, Jisung sighed and headed out into the kitchen of the dorm to grab a glass of cold water, running into Chan while he was in there, "oh, hey Sung."

"Hey, what are you doing up?" Jisung joked, knowing the older was more than likely working on more songs like he always was. Jisung was thinking that the older breathed music notes instead of normal oxygen, a beautiful melody falling out every time he even spoke.

Chan knew that Jisung was joking so he smiled as he replied, "what are you doing up?"

"Just thinking," Jisung replied.