Starting Over

Meet Alison

"Ugh, stop this!"  That was Alison's thought while she was getting ready.  "You don't have to look perfect.  It's not like you're going out to meet anyone.  You're done with that mess."

So then, why was she crying?  She spoke out loud to no one.  "All any of them have ever done is break my heart."

Ah, yes.  The woman living with the tale as old as time - having love gone wrong.  And after the last bout with it, she was done.  Would she acknowledge a man?  Sure.  But get involved with one again?  No.  She was done.  "I'm not looking to go through any of that again.  But, maybe Kelly is right.  I need to just go have fun."  That put a smile to her face and then she saw her reflection in the mirror and frowned.

"Yeah, fun.  Okay.  Easy for Kelly to say. She doesn't look like. . .this."

It had been rough on Alison, all the heartache she had endured.  Every time she thought she'd found happiness, it all got ripped away.  Especially when she had come so close to forever.  She gave her all, and what did she get in return?  Left with no explanation, cheated on, the feeling she wasn't worthy of love.  She'd had enough.  Alison's once huge heart that looked passed outward appearance had finally turned to stone.  She was bitter enough to make a grinch say "Damn."

But, a woman's heart is always fragile.  And it can only crack so much before it is unrepairable.

As she wiped the lone tear running down her face with a tissue, she spoke aloud again.  "Fuck them," and she went back to fixing her hair and makeup.

Once she had straightened her auburn locks and had very subtly painted her face, it was into her closet she roamed.  "I have nothing to wear," she stated as she stared at her clothes.  Oh, she had things to wear, for work and to be lazy around the house.  She wasn't the star of the show as she once felt she was.  "Meh, now I have a reason to stay home."  

Then, Kelly's voice popped into her head, "That's all you do.  Stop.  You need this.  It's time.  Just find something.  If you don't show, I will drag you out of that apartment myself."  She didn't want to deal with that either.  She grabbed a pair of jeans and a semi-dressy blouse.  It was tan, with a circle cut out just atop her breasts to allow for a teasing of cleavage, which Alison had plenty of.

"This is as good as it gets," she told herself.  "Lord, and I used to think I was heavy when I was a size twelve.  I wish I was that small again."

Alison wasn't horrible looking.  With everything she had been through in the past ten years, she was broken.  She dealt with awful bouts of depression, put weight on, had to have numerous dental procedures done, she felt her life was a nightmare.  Sadly, she came to realize that as much as she wanted to place the blame on those that wronged her, she knew deep down, what she let herself turn into was no one's fault but her own.

"At least I still have these," she said as she dug her cowboy boots out from the back of her closet.

As she grabbed her keys, she turned to her left to see her dog, Jack, on the couch.  "Mama's going out.  You be good, okay furball?"  Like the dog could answer her. She made her way down the stairs to her truck, and off to meet Kelly at the bar she went.