Starting Over

Walking The Dog

"Alison!"  he hollered after her.  She did her best to ignore him as she stepped into her truck.  But then, before she could even start it, he was at her window.  She paused a moment, she could feel her bottom lip trembling.  She wanted to start the engine, but it was as if she suddenly didn't know how to turn a key.  Instead, she rolled down her window.  "Hey, why did you. . ."

She cut him off.  "Look Adam.  You're a nice person. Too nice I think.  And I've come to learn too nice is also fake.  I'm not interested in being anything to anyone, okay?  I don't need it."  Her tone was crass, but also had a notion of "someone please repair me," to it.

"Fake?" he began, quite confused, "I'm not being fake.  Where do you get that from?"

"Your comment to Kelly."

"What comment?  About walking you to your car?  Did you see her expression?  She was thinking more than that.  So excuse me for correcting her and sticking up for a lady."

"I didn't ask you to stick up for me."  She was very stern in her retort.

Adam just shook his head, "Jesus Christ.  What the fuck did he do to you?"

Alison just looked at him, angry.  "Excuse me?"

"How did you end up so cold?  Most women. . ."

"I'm not most women.  Now, do you mind?  I'd like to go home."

"By all means, don't let me stop you," and he backed away from her truck.  He had been through shit too.  But he didn't let it get him this angry.  "What did she deal with?"  he asked himself.  When he realized she wasn't starting the truck, he re-approached her window, only to find her crying.  He took a chance.  "Alison?" 

She turned to hide her face from him.  Not so she could hide her tears so much as she felt terrible for scolding him.  All he had done was be nice to her.

"Alison.  Sweets, you're not okay."

"Just leave me be, okay?  You don't want to know me, okay?  I'm not worth it."

Confused, Adam opened her door.  "Alison, what kind of talk is that?  Listen, I don't know what happened but, you're not okay right now.  Move over.  Let me get you home."

Her head spun around in sheer amazement at his request.  "I'll be okay," she murmured.

"And I believe you.  But, can you let a nice guy do the right thing?  Let me get you home."

"What about. . ."

"I didn't drive.  Friend dropped me off.  Don't worry.  I'm not a drunk or anything.  We were just all going the same way.  C'mon.  Let me in."

His tone was so concerned, and truth be told, she felt terrible for barking at him this way.  But she was so messed up.  She didn't know how to be anymore.  Something in her melted a little bit though as she slid over in the seat, allowing him to climb in the cab of her pick up.  "How will you. . ."

"It's called Uber," he joked.

Alison guided him to her apartment complex.  She of course allowed him to come up to her apartment with her.  She wasn't going to be a complete bitch and make him stay outside to wait for a ride.  When she opened the door, Jack came running to them and then started barking at Adam.

"Whoa! Whoa! Easy boy.  Jack, it's okay, it's okay.  Adam's a," she paused, "friend."  Alison got a hold of his collar and held him back a bit.  "I'm sorry Adam.  I forgot to mention I have a dog," and she waved him in.

"I like dogs."  Adam cam into her apartment and got on the floor of the living room and started petting Jack.  "Hey boy.  How you doin', huh?  You happy mommy's home?"

Alison watched as they wrestled around, it made her smile.  Jack didn't take to too many people.  But he seemed to like Adam.  "He's kind of a goof ain't he?" she asked.

"Naw, he's a good boy.  Yes.  Yes you are."

"I was talking to Jack," and she giggled.  Adam looked up at her to see her smiling. That made him happy; a feeling he himself was getting used to again.  "C'mon boy.  Come here," she called to the dog and hooked his leash on him.  "I need to walk him," she told Adam.

"Oh," he was kind of bummed, "okay."

"You want to come with us?"

"Sure."

As they walked through her neighborhood, it was, at times, awkwardly quiet.  Alison decided to cut the tension.  "Adam, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For being such a bitch earlier.  I have a lot of battle scars, and sometimes, I don't know how to be when others are nice to me.  You didn't deserve that.  Especially just meeting me."  She hung her head.

"No apology necessary.  I get it.  I do.  Been there.  only, well, maybe worse."

The two stopped and waited for Jack to finish his business.  As Alison reached down with a bad to clean up after Jack, she asked, "how worse?"

Adam was quiet.  He just looked straight ahead, fighting with himself as to the idea of telling her his heartache.  He just met her.  And even though it was only a few hours, he found himself intrigued by her.  He felt comfortable around her.  Her smile lit him up inside.  "If I tell her, she'll run."  He spoke, "Well, I don't know that it's worse.  I was just. . .'

"Just trying to make me feel better?"

"Yeah."

"Adam, many have tried.  All have failed.  I've got baggage that ruins everything."

"I can't believe that.  I haven't known you that long but, I just can't see it."  He couldn't.  More, he didn't want to.  "Wonder what she'd do if I kissed her?" he thought.