Starting Over

The Past Becomes Clear

"Mmmmm, damn that was a good steak Jer.  Why don't I come over here more often?"  Adam was joking around with his brother.

"I don't know?  Why don't you come around here more often?  It's not like you can't get here."  And then Jerry asked him, "How are you doing anyway?  I mean about the. . ."

Adam took a deep breath and sighed, "I haven't heard from her.  And when I talked to Kelly yesterday, she said that she was not doing so well.  I didn't want to pry so, I just left it alone."

Seeing his little brother with heartache, again, lit a fire under Jerry even though he knew he should probably keep his mouth shut. "For fuck's sake man.  Just go talk to her.  I haven't seen you like this about any woman since Lisa."

Adam just hung his head and responded, "Jer, I'm not gonna shove my way into her life.  She obviously doesn't want to have anything to do with me or any other guy, so why bust my balls in trying?"  In Adam's mind, all he could see were her big brown eyes staring back at him saying they could be broken together.  He wanted to hold her again.  But, he left the ball in her court and nothing.  He figured he was better to move on.  The feel of his phone vibrating in his pocket broke his train of thought.  It was a text message from Kelly.

Come up to Jay's.  Need to talk to you.

Jerry noticed the look on Adam's face.  "Dude, what is it?"

"Jer, can I borrow your truck?  I need to make a stop at the bar.  Nothing bad."

Jerry thought for half a minute.  "Is it her?"

"No.  I mean, I don't know yet."

"Then why?"

"Man, can I borrow it or not?"  Adam was getting anxious.  If it was about anything else, Kelly would have called him.  It had to be about Alison.  Maybe she was there?  If she was, she would have to face him.  This wasn't about conquest though.  Adam was miserable without her.  He just wanted the chance to tell her so.

Jerry tossed him the keys, "Just be careful.  Laura doesn't get off her shift at the hospital for another four hours"

"You know I refuse to drink and drive.  Water or soda, that's it.  Besides, like you're gonna go anywhere without her anyway, old man."  

"Old man my ass.  I'll still kick yours pretty boy."  Jerry smiled and laughed.  Being the elder of the brothers, it was easy for Adam to tease him about being old.   "Just remember, you ain't gonna be thirty-seven forever.  You'll hit forty, and I'll kick your ass then too."  Jerry walked up to his brother and put his left hand up on his shoulder.  "Go talk to her.  If you like her this much, and I know you do, take the chance and bust that door down."

"Thanks," and out the door Adam went.

When he arrived at Jay's he found Kelly and wasted no time in the obvious question, "Is Alison here?"

"No.  She's at home.  Another Friday night staring at her tv.  Although, I suppose I should be happy for that.  She finally came back to work today.  Adam, I'm worried about her.  The last time she was like this was when Jimmy left."

"Okay, who the fuck is Jimmy?"

While really not her place to explain this to Adam, for her friend's sake, she had to.  She opened up to Adam that Jimmy was Alison's first, for everything.  First real boyfriend, first love, first sexual partner, first and only fiancée.  Jimmy was Alison's world and vice versa.  When they were never setting a wedding date, Jimmy and Alison started fighting, all the time.  Being her friend, Alison would vent her frustration out to Kelly.  And Kelly had told her that she thought maybe they just needed some space from one another.  And by space, Kelly meant that maybe Alison should crash with her for a few weeks.  Kelly went on to tell Adam that she had made the same recommendation, minus staying with her, to Jimmy.  And that was the fatal mistake.  "I was looking out for my friend.  Both my friends really.  A week later when he told Alison that he was taking off to Montana to give her some space, we all kind of figured it was just going to be a vacation type absence.  Ya know, like a week.  Well, at the end of that week, he called Alison to tell her that he was staying out there.  That he had met someone and was moving into her apartment.  Alison hasn't heard from him since.  That was ten years ago."  Kelly started to tear up a bit.  "If I hadn't said anything to him, he'd probably still be here.  Like he promised her.  He promised her that whenever she went to bed, he'd always be there when she woke up.  And because. . ."

"Wait, what did you say?"  Adam's eyes were huge and about to pop out of his head.  "What did he tell her?"

Confused, Kelly responded, "That he'd always be there when she woke up."

Adam threw his head back and let out a huff and said, "Fuuuuuuck.  Now it makes sense.  God damn it."

"What makes sense?"  Kelly still confused.

"I have to go. I need to go see her.  God damn it this answers so much."

"Wait Adam, what makes sense?"

Adam told her what he said to Alison when they went to sleep and how he had taken Jack for a walk and Alison woke up while he was gone.  "Oooooh shit.  And that sent her into fucking flashbacks.  Oh my God.  Adam, you didn't know.  I'm going to tell you this.  You tell her I told you about Jimmy, she's going to lash out at you, and curse me.  Don't take it personal.  She doesn't mean it.  You're good for her.  She needs you."

"I need her."