Starting Over

Don't Let Go

Both were breathing heavier than someone that just ran a marathon.  Alison rolled over and saw how full their protection was.  "Holy shit.  That's a lot!"

"Three years.  I haven't since, well, yeah."  Alison looked at him in disbelief.  "It's true," he told her.  "I just couldn't.  Something about you though just made me feel good.  And with you, it felt right."  His tone was so horrifically sincere, it was almost not believable.  But the look in his eyes gave way to any doubt as to what he said was anything but truth.

Alison could feel herself blush at his statement.  She hadn't felt like this in years.  And she knew he was telling her the truth.  She just couldn't believe she was okay with this.  "Adam, I. . ."

He pressed a finger to her lips so she didn't speak.  "Alison, really.  This was right.  I get your fears.  But if I'm broken, and you're broken. . ."

"Makes sense to be broken together," she finished his sentence.  She held his gaze, his hazel eyes dancing at her words.  He leaned over and softly kissed her lips.  "I'll be right back."  Alison got out of bed and ducked into her bathroom.

As she stood there, staring at herself in the mirror and brushing her hair, her brain yelled at her in overdrive.  "Give this man a chance!" it hollered.  "He is right!"  She spoke softly to herself out loud, "Yeah?  And what if he leaves me?"  She could see herself start to tear up.  "He won't leave.  You're his first in forever.  Take the damn chance!"  She shook her head, grabbed her robe, and went back to her room.  As she walked passed him, Jack gave her a look of approval.  "What boy?" and he turned his head left to her bedroom door, then back to her as if to say, "I like him.  Let him stay."  "Go back to sleep Jackie boy," and she walked back into her room.

Adam had turned the lamp on the nightstand on.  She was seeing him in the light and thinking, "Oh Lord have mercy.  I survived THAT!"  The view before her got her excited all over again.

"You okay darlin'?"

Alison shook her head like an etch-a-sketch.  "Uh, yeah.  I'm good.  Just, well. . ."

"Tired?"

She giggled, "yeah,"  and she walked back to her bed.  "Adam?" He turned to look at her.  She was dropping her robe, and he was hoping he'd harden again, but he was quite exhausted and spent.  He watched as she put her oversized shirt on.  "I don't. . ."  she stopped as she sat on the bed.  "I mean, this was, I wasn't planning this."

"I know.  I wasn't either."

"I don't want to be thinking one thing and. . ."

"I don't get where you're going Alison."

She took a deep breath.  "I've been alone for so long.  I don't know if I know how to be with anyone again.  Broken or not."  Adam hung his head. She spoke again.  "Thing is, I like you.  I mean, I know we haven't known each other very long, but I do."

"I like you too."

"It scares me Adam.  I don't want to be the reason you get hurt."

Adam got off the bed and got his boxers back on.  He sat down with his back to her.  He didn't know if this was her way of letting him down or what.  "What makes you think you'd hurt me?"

"I don't know.  Maybe because I haven't been with anyone for so long."

He nodded his head slightly, then turned back to her.  "Like you said, broken together."  He kissed her again.  "I won't force you to be a part of something if you think it shouldn't happen."  He sounded disappointed.

"No, Adam.  I. . .I want to.  I'm terrified.  But you just made me feel things I forgot existed.  Just be. . ."

"Patient.  You gotta do the same with me.  I won't say I don't still hold love for my wife.  But she's gone.  She's not here.  You are.  And you're amazing."

Any other time she would've heard something like this, she would've thought it was a line.  Not this time.  Not this night.  She was scared, but something about him melted her fear, to a point.  It was going to take more than just one night of pure, unadulterated, hardcore, aggressive, amazing sex to mend her.  "I don't know what to say Adam."

"You don't have to say anything."  He began to get under the covers as Alison turned them down.  As she got into bed, she turned to her left so her back was to him.  Adam cuddled up behind her, threw his right arm over her, kissed her shoulder, and then ran his fingers through her hair.  She turned her head to look at him.  "I'll see you in the morning," he said, "I'll be right here when you open your eyes."  He kissed her again.

"I like the sound of that," she turned away, and he put his head down on the pillow next to her as he kept a hold of her.

"Don't let her go," his brain told him.

"Don't let him go," her brain told her.