Heathers AU (SASI)

ACT 1

Scene 5 

Remus and Remy enter, along with Bill and Paul, the boys’ fathers, respectively. The two pairs are talking to one another as they enter. "Okay, Remus, have fun tonight but I expect you to act your age. If the neighbors complain about the noise, Paul and I are going to march in here and knock the sand out of your vagina. Do you understand me?"  Bill said to his son who replies in disgust "Dude, what am I, like five?". Bill gives him the dad glare "I'm your dad, not your dude". Paul turns to his son and says " That goes double for you, Remy. You're a guest at Bill's house and you will treat it with respect." Remy nods "sure thing, babes" Remy turns to look at Remus, smirking, as Remus laughs. Paul takes this as a challenge and turns to Bill "Hold his arms." Bill holds Remy’s arms, while Paul holds him in a headlock. "I’m just kidding!" Remy calls out but Paul ignores him "Who’s a great big sissy? Who’s going to prom in a bright pink dress? You are. Who’s a great big sissy?" Remy looks down during his dad's chants and mumbled "I am a great big sissy!" Bill and Paul release Remy, who falls on the ground "Enjoy the party, son!" Paul said. Him and bill fist bump as Bill shouts "Punch it in!" As they pass Remus, Bill goes to punch Remus then stops at the last minute. Him and Paul laugh as theg leave. "That sucked." Remy mumbled getting up. Remus didn't care though he was too happy "Who cares, dude? The parents are gone and I got my party slippers on!" Just then Virgil, the heathers and the other students enter. 

"Dad says "Act our age"
You heard the man, it's time to rage!"

"Blast the bass, turn out the light
Ain't nobody home tonight!" 

"Drink, smoke, it's all cool 
Let's get naked in my pool!" 

"Punch the wall and start a fight!
Ain't nobody home tonight!" 

Remy starts to flirt with Roman. "His folks got a waterbed. Come upstairs and rest your head". Remus puts his arms around Logan and Emile "Let's rub each other's backs While watching porn on Cinemax!" Logan, Roman and Emile quickly push them away.  

"It's time for big fun!
Big fun!
We're up till dawn
Having some big fun!
Big fun!
When mom and dad forget
To lock the liquor cabinet
It's big fun!
Big fun!" 

Logan, Emile and Roman start doing shots. Well Logan was trying to teach Virgil how to do a shot "Ok, ok, ok So, it's salt, and then lime, and then shot?" Virgirl asks. Logan shakes his head and starts "No, it's salt, and then…" only to be cut off by Roman. "You're doing it wrong!" Virgil raises an eyebrow "Wait! Really? Cause I feel great". Suddenly a preppy person yelled from across the room "Virgil, you are looking good tonight!"

"Whoa
A hot guy smiled at me
Without a trace of mockery!" 

"Everyone's high as a kite
Ain't nobody home tonight!"

"Stoned. Zoned. I should quit...
Hey, is that weed? I want a hit"

"Fill that joint and roll it tight
Ain't nobody home tonight!"

"Dreams are coming true
When people laugh but not at you!
I'm not alone! I'm not afraid!
I feel like Bono at Live-Aid!" 

"The house is ours
It's time for big fun!
Big fun!
Let's use their showers
That sounds like
Big fun!
Big fun!
Crack open one more case!" 

Virgil sees a couple making out in the corner and smiles "I think that's what they call "Third base"" 

"Big fun!
Big fun!
Big fun!"