Leather Dreams

thirteen| confessions

- Saturday -

My head was laying on Brian's lap, my eyes shut closed as I tried to not let my mind wander to a certain boy that was looking through princess's bag. They'd been talking about a bunch of the shit that could be found in her purse while she was going through his wallet.

I didn't care at first but when she moved to sit next to him on one of the lounge chairs, I had to close my eyes as to not fucking kill someone.

It's crazy to be jealous of someone who I'm not dating, nor do I have any affiliations with. There's no connection between John and I. We're not even talking,

I have no right to be pissed off because he talks to another girl or because he put his head between her legs. It's not her fault he's a guy and can't act properly.

"Are all these your girlfriends?" Claire asked as I felt Brian stiffen under my head.

NOT LIKE THAT.

He knew about my somewhat attraction and crush towards Bender. He always knew there was something going on between John and I, especially when I gave him my favourite pin. But it solidified when I got jealous.

Me???

Jealous because of a man! Insanity.

"Some of them." Okay, ouch, what the actual fuck??

You can't lead someone on when you have a bunch of girlfriends?

I swear, men and their audacity.

"What about the others?" Claire questioned, my eyes slightly opening to see her frowning at the picture, her eyes going to me and back to the pictures with an even deeper frown.

"Well, some I consider my girlfriends and some...I just consider." John mumbled, his hand that was on my calf going rigid. It's like he knew I was awake and wanted to change the subject quickly. Pig.

"Consider what?"

"Whether or not, I wanna hang out with them." He continued while opening a bunch of Claire's makeup as I tried to be as still as possible.

"You don't believe in just one guy, one girl?" Claire asked, not even bothering to hide the fact that she was disgusted with his answer.

"Do you?"

"Yeah...that's the way it should be." Amen.

You're not even catholic.

"Well, not for me."

"Why not?"

Bender clearly doesn't want to answer that with the way he looks down at me and clears his throat before putting all of his attention on Claire's bag. And her makeup. As if her eyebrow brush was more interesting.

"You're such a dick." Brian finally said to cut the tension between Claire and Bender. Both of them wiped their heads to look at him as he played with my hair. He does that a lot when he gets nervous.

"Excuse me?"

"B believes in love. She won't straight up tell you but she wants that bullshit romcon kind of love. The ones from the movies that make you teary eyed and lonely at the end. So for you to sit here, telling her all those things just to be fucking with other girls is a dick move. Either you want her or you don't, but do not fucking play with her. She's not an option, so if you have your doubts, pick someone from your list because I won't let you play with her heart like that."

"You got a crush on her or something?" Brian scoffed in astonishment.

"You're kidding right? You must really have a fragile ego if you think defending my best friend means I have a crush on her. You don't deserve her, Bender." He stated before lightly shaking me to wake me up.

"C'mon B. Let's find you somewhere quieter."

• • •

"Hey." I heard from behind me, my brain already associating the voice to John. I turned around to face him, his body leaning against a bookcase as I raised an eyebrow at him.

We weren't exactly on speaking terms right now, and I was doing my best to avoid his ass but it was rather difficult due to the fact that we're stuck in the same place for another considerable amount of time.

"What do you want, Bender?"

"No John? No snarky remark about how I'm a dick?" He asked with a frown, walking a bit closer to me as I placed a hand in front of his chest to stop him from walking any closer.

"You do what you want. We don't owe each other anything, literally. No one's tied down, no one has obligations." I said as his frown deepened.

"Don't say that."

"Why John? Why can't I say it? It's the truth! You have all this roster of girls just begging for your attention, pick any of them. You can't say things to me when you don't even mean them."

"I don't mean them? How could you possibly know what I mean and what I don't? You think I just go around telling-"

"Yes John! That's exactly what I think. You didn't give me a reason not to believe anything else. Everyone knows you get around." I said trying not to let the hurt in his eyes affect me in any way possible. There was something so raw and emotional in his brown eyes that had me look away, my legs feeling weak when he placed a hand on the side of my neck.

"I- those are just rumours, baby. I'm... I haven't done it." He whispered lowly as my mouth almost fell wide open.

"W-what?"

"Don't make me say it, Bailey." He groaned, his body leaning against me, his head falling in the crook of my neck as I tried not to gasp when I felt him place feathery kisses on my collarbone.

"John-... why didn't you say anything? Why'd you let me make those gross assumptions?" I asked while running a hand through his long hair as he sighed.

He looked back up at me before soothing the creases in my forehead from all the frowning. His hot hands on my face felt like I was on fire, like I was burning up with the way he touched me.

"I didn't want you to not want me because I'm inexperienced... I want you, Bailey. I wasn't kidding when I said it and I'm not kidding now."

"What about those other girls?" I was not totally convinced even if his eyes told a whole different story and that he was most definitely not lying.

"I don't view them as anything more than friends. We hangout once in a blue moon to smoke but it's never like that."

"John-"

"I know it's hard to believe, hell, I wouldn't even believe myself but please, Bailey. Just give me a chance, baby. Let me show you that I want you." He whispered, getting impossibly closer to my body, I didn't even try to stop him.

"I wouldn't lie to you. To others, yes. To you, never."