Unsteady // kiani ff

Chapter 4

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Jordan
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I leave Will's house and get in my car. I look sadly at the house in front of me.

I did want to go, but something was holding me back.

Was it Will?

No, Jordan you were just trying to make him happy. You don't like him.

I stop thinking and close my eyes. I sit there for a couple minutes, I open my eyes and start the engine and drive off, not wanting to come back.

I get to Bee's house so we could go to our date, which was the movies. We were going to see a scary movie. I'm hoping she'll be all over me. I knock on the door and she opens it with a huge smile.

"Hey babe." She greets me,

"Hey now let's not get too far ahead of ourselves." I reply offering my hand for her to hold. She takes my hand and we go to the car.

I open the car door for her and she gets in the car. I go to my side and get in.

Hopefully this date goes well.

We get to the movies and we buy our tickets.

"Uh, Jordan," Bee chokes out, I turn to her and grin slightly, I let out a small hm questioning her. She looks down at her popcorn and looks back up at me with a kind of fake smile. I lift her chin and plant a kiss on her lips. Our lips mold and we sit there for a while. When I pull away Bee smiles big and is blushing.

Aww, that's cute.

But I didn't feel anything when I kissed her.

I ignore my thoughts before I get to deep into them. Bee and I tangle our hands together and walk to our seats in the theatre. We sit in the very back row, surprisingly, there was nobody in this theatre. It was only me and Bee. It was kind of creepy but I ignored that fact.

"William likes you.." Bee mumbled, I already knew that, I didn't like him back. Did I? No.

"H-Huh?"

"Will likes you!" She yells to me,

"Who the hell is Will?" I lie asking her.

"Whatever.." Bee mumbled and slumped in her seat. It was awkward until the movie started.

It was in the middle of the movie and Bee had her head in my chest. I didn't mind, she was the fucking hottest girl in school, along with Maddie. A huge bang occurred on the movie and Bee dug deeper in my chest. I rested my chin on her head rubbing her back softly. I felt her fragile heart beating so fast, she was very scared of this movie.

The movie finally came to an end.

"Is it over?" Bee asked me coming slowly out of my chest.

"Yeah." She comes out of my chest and I plant a kiss on her lips.

"Sorry I was in your chest the whole time." She giggled.

"Oh, I don't mind cutie." She blushes immediately when I say 'cutie', I kiss her one more time and we tangle hands. We leave the theatre and I drive her home. I pull over by her house,

"Thank you Jordan" she said with a smile.

"I really did have some fun, even though I was hiding the whole time." She giggles, I giggle back.

"I did too,"

I go for a kiss and she allows it, I try to slip my tongue in and she allows again, turning it into a full make out session. She puts her hand on my thigh. Her hand was dangerously close to my crotch. She starts making circles with her thumb making me a bit hard. I pull away immediately.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I can't." I say as I pull away and close my eyes.

"What?"

"I can't."

"Whatever, you go be a fag with Will." She gets out and slams the car door, and storms to her house. I put my head in my hands.

What the fuck did I do?

"You go be a fag with Will"

What she said played on repeat in my mind. I'm not a fag. Am I?

NO!

My thoughts kept screaming at me. I start the engine of the car again, I drive straight to the nearest bar. I go inside and order a drink. I take a drink when the bartender hands the drink to me.

Hours after hours after hours, drink after drink after drink.

I was drunk as fuck. I stumble to my car then remember I can't drive after what I just did. I pull out my phone and go through my contacts to see who could help. I open messages and get a message from Will.

Will ; Hey Jordan.

I was confused on why he texted me at two thirty in the morning.

Jordan ; Hey. What do you need?

Will ; Please come to my house.

I got concerned when I read the text from the British boy. This most likely means something, bad. I stop thinking and type another message.

Jordan ; Yeah, I'll be over in a minute.

I noticed Will's house was about 5 minutes away, so I could walk there, or stumble.

I stumble down to his house and I knock on the door. He quickly opens it and takes my wrist and pulls me inside. I look up at the small boy and see his red puffy eyes, obviously he has been crying for a long time.

"W-Will, What's wrong." I chocked while watching a tear roll down his cheek.

"I-I'm so sorry" he started to cry more.

"What did you do Will." Lightening strikes outside, making Will jump from the loud sound.

I look down at his hand, which is bloody.

"Will.." I trailed off and he started to sob. Will fell to the floor and hugged his knees to his chest. I sit down next to him and put my arm around him. He sobs harder into his knees.

"What did you do William?" He looks up at me and speaks very quietly,

"I-I- ..." He started and trailed off.

"You...?"

"I almost committed."

Tears barrelled in my eyes.

Why did I care?

"W-Why?" I ask him

"I was so close to, I was about to pull the trigger." Tears streamed down my face and I looked away. We sat in silence for a while, until Will broke the silence.

"The only person I know who could stop me was you." He says. I choke on my words,

"Why?"

Is that the only word I knew?

"I'm in love with you, Jordan."

"I know. But I don't feel that way."

Was that a lie?

No.

Maybe?

He looks down and speaks quietly,

"You can leave now.."

"You sure?" I ask. He nods in response and I kiss his forehead and start to the door,

"Bye Will." And I leave.