Just A Nobody

EMPTY JAR

The whole place is filled with people.

Watching and cheering.

I can see everybody smiling, and the amazement on their faces as a sign of entertainment.

" Are you ready for the next trick?" I asked as I pulled the last magic trick I had in my box, with a happy voice.

"Yes!" They excitedly responded.

"Are you really ready to see this?" I added that makes the smile and energy of the crown mostly kids escalated more.

"WE DO!," they said, some of them even jumping out of excitement.

 *(I wish I am too.)

"Okay, Here it goes."

I pulled out the folded birdcage and did my usual stuff.The audience claps and the kids are shouting, as I make it into two with a white dove in each cage.

I saw all the smiles on their faces, and some were even standing.

All I can hear is clapping, praises, and cheering.

*(I wish I am too. )

I bow onto the stage; when the crowd is finally settled with the MC taking over the event, I immediately head backstage, change my clothes to a normal one, and pack up my things as my segment has already ended.

I finished packing up and went to our manager to get my part for this event.I can hear all the audience, shouting and cheering 

*(I wish I am too.)

as I walk towards the back office, seems like the acrobat team is on stage now.

(Knock..knock...)

"Come in," the person inside said.

I came in and saw our manager."Hey Boss, I just finished my segment, I'm here to collect my check." I said smilling, and cheerfully.

"Ow yeah, a nice performance by the way I can hear the audience from here, like always, you really don't disappoint me," He said and opened his drawer to get something.

"Here you go, I put a little extra in there since you're really doing good," he said and handed me a white envelope.

"Thanks, boss, I'll get going now," I said and he gave me a handshake.

I went to the bus terminal right away, thankfully the bus was not full, I sat on the last seat of the bus where I could see all the people in front doing their own stuff.

I plugged in my headphones and listened to some music as the bus started to move.

It makes me wonder as I watch all the people on the bus.

Some of them are using phones.

Some are watching videos.Some are sleeping.

Some are just sitting silently and watching all the vehicles outside.

Some are listening to music.

But most of them are chatting with each other while laughing.

*(I wish I am too.)

It makes me really wonder.

What makes them smile and laugh so easily.

I wonder what is the reason behind all their smile.

Out of entertainment?

The companion they have?

Or just the very thought of their existence?

Like how?

How can they always form a smile genuinely without faking it?

*(I wish I can too.)

How did they remain happy throughout the process of growing old? While facing everything in this world?

It's really Ironic, My job is to make people happy and entertained every day;
almost half of my life,

but...

I can't even make myself happy. or even think of a reason to make me smile.

Why is it that after growing up?It seems that all the happiness in my life vanished as the child inside me also disappeared!

Because of the thoughts circling my mind, I didn't realize that it was already my stop.

Central Park, a few posts where I am currently staying.

I immediately stand, remove my headphones, and go down.

I decided to sit in the park for a couple of minutes before going home.

I'm walking when a kid in a uniform bumps into me while running, he seems to be in a rush. "Sorry Mister." He said while looking back to where he comes from.

"It's okay, just be careful next time" I just said, and he ran again, he looked like he tripped on something cause his uniform was a mess.

I headed to the playground, sat on one of the benches, and watched all the children play.

"Excuse me? Can I sit here?" a woman asked me. "Yeah sure" I just said.

"They look happy right?" She suddenly said, while watching the kids.

"Yeah, they surely are" I replied.

*(I wish I am too.)

"You seem not," she said making me look at her.

*(Yes, you're right)

"Sorry?" I said.

"You really look lonely," She said and smiled.

*(I know, I really do)

"Not everybody can be happy all the time."
" Mostly when you grow up, and start living with the reality of this world." I added.

"You're right, you cannot be happy all the time" She paused for a second.

"But you can't also pretend to be happy to make someone else does, when you're not even aware of how to make yourself one." she said with a serious face.

"How sure are you, that I am pretending to be happy?" I asked.

"You can lie with your reasons, but there is something in you; that says you're not happy without using any words, 

I can see!"

"Clearly!" She said.

I didn't answer, cause she's right.

Who am I to lie.

I don't even know the reason why I am listening to her right now.

"Most people say that happiness die when you grow up" She said.

*(Yeah, I think the same too)

"Yeah, I guess" I just said and shrugged my shoulder.

"Happiness doesn't actually die to begin with, The Jar just expanded and you forgot to fill it with new things that will make you happy," She said while smiling at me.

I didn't answer.

"Growing up is not the reason why people often feel loneliness; It's the mindset that most of the society built which separate them from what true happiness is; when you finally found out what it holds you'll also see what it truly means and I'm certain you'll find the reason that will fill your jar with positive things" She added and stand up.

"Who are you?" I asked cause she was about to leave.

"Just a nobody"

She just smiled and said one last thing.

"Remember to fill your Jar and add more reason to be happy" She added and left me, sitting and thinking even more.

What does she mean by that?

*(You'll know when you do)

-Mist