Precious Love [Spencer Reid Fanfic - 2]

Chapter 5 - The Instincts

"Who speaks to the instincts speaks to the deepest in mankind, and finds the readiest response." - Amos Bronson Alcott

It was early morning when I got a text from an unknown number, asking me to meet up at the diner near my building. Spencer was having a nightmare again. He told me about the dreams and I felt bad for him. My mind could not process his agony since I was dealing with my own demons. I was too selfish to help him.

When I got to the diner, a waitress pointed me to a booth, where a man was sitting with a milkshake in front of him. I gasped as soon as I saw who the man was. "It's been a long time, Cassie." The man smiled at me and stood up and I hugged him tightly.

I smiled widely as my arms wrapped around him and I felt so relieved. "Gideon!" My mentor was there for me. It wasn't a dream.

I let go of him and sat on the booth, Gideon doing the same thing. "Would you like your usual?" He asked with a warm expression.

"No, I'll have some green tea." I said, still smiling.

Gideon scanned my face. "You much be going through a rough patch if you're off caffeine." He joked. "If I remember correctly, you once requested coffee in an IV."

I laughed for the first time in months. "A lot has changed." The waitress returned with my order and I smiled politely. "Why did you call me here?"

"Well, I got a phone call from Dave and he seemed quite concerned about you." Gideon played with the little red straw. "What happened?"

Being with my old mentor again was enough to make me forget about my inner battle. "He told you, didn't he?"

Gideon sighed. "He did but I want to hear it from you."

"I can't, Gideon." I took a deep breath and gripped the scalding cup tightly. "Whenever I close my eyes it's as if I'm back there and he's always on top of me, taunting me and laughing at my pain."

"Who?" He asked.

I shut my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. "Benjamin Cyrus."

Gideon held my hand. "I should've been more present for you, Cassie. The truth is, I always thought you were stronger than Spencer. That's I left the letter to both of you. At that moment, you needed each other."

"I just don't think I can love Spencer the same way I used to." I opened my blue eyes and looked away. "He deserves better."

"Don't be like me." Gideon pleaded. "Don't let Benjamin Cyrus be your Frank. You're far too young to be cynical and angry at the world."

"He raped me and beat me." Tears were falling down my cheek. "How can I move on from that?"

Gideon squeezed my hand and looked right into my eyes. "All you gotta do is lean on the only person who understands your pain." He gave me a half smile. "Spencer deserves your honesty. If you manage to be truthful to him, he'll help you regain your confidence and your strength."

I smiled and wiped the tears off my face, enjoying the silence that fell between my mentor and me. It felt just like old times when Gideon would take me to the diner after closing a case. I missed him so much.

* * *

Seeing Gideon really put my life into perspective. I had to work harder to make Spencer happy and put him first for once in my life.

JJ was smiling as she put headphones on her belly. "What is the baby listening?" I asked while sitting next to Spencer.

"Beethoven." The blonde smiled and Spencer made a face. "What is it, Spencer?" She rolled her eyes.