BITE OF SIN (Intersex) ✔

Chapter 04

Marioll Chandra Galvez

"Cheers?" I was totally caught off guard when Vonn passed me a glass of wine. I flashed him a quick, unexpected smile, took the glass from his hand, and lifted it up for a toast. "I'm happy you're okay, my love. Mas gusto ko na palagi kitang nakikitang nakangiti."

"Thank you Vonn, for being my strength. Without you, I don't know what would have happened to me."

I felt the warmth of his body as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. Gusto ko sana siyang itulak palayo dahil wala ako sa mood, pero kung gagawin ko yun baka magtampo o magalit na siya sa akin. Ewan ko ba, I haven't fully recovered yet. The pain that is hidden in my heart persists.

If I could control my emotions, I would eliminate the pain I am experiencing right now. I long for my life to return to its usual state. But how can I achieve that? I am still dealing with the trauma, and despite putting on a mask of being okay, deep down, I know that I am not.

Pagkatapos namin uminom ng wine ni Vonn, nagpaalam ako sa kanya na pupunta muna ako sa banyo. Hindi ako naiihi or what, I just want to escape from him. Mukhang yung trauma ko naipapasa ko na rin sa kanya. Heck! Kelangan ko itong labanan, or else, it could end of everything for us.

As I was walking down the hallway, I bumped into Wise and noticed that she seemed intoxicated. I simply shook my head as I continued to walk past her. However, before I could pass by, she unexpectedly grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. Nadala ako dahil sa lakas nang pagkakahila niya sa akin. I felt the urge to call for help, but I found myself unable to do so. Instead, I lifted my head and looked at her confidently, not wanting her to think that I was vulnerable.

Hinila nya ako papasok dito sa loob ng kwarto niya at sinarado ito.

"What now?" Naiiritang tanong ko sa kanya.

"Chandra, please listen to me. Alam ko na galit ka sa akin dahil sa nagawa ko noong nakaraan. Nagawa ko yun dahil I'm still longing for you. I love you Chandra, hindi ko matanggap na kapatid ko pa? Why?"

"Alam mo Wise, I never imagined na hahantong tayo sa ganito. Pagkatapos nang ginawa mo may lakas loob ka pang humarap sa akin at magtanong kung bakit si Vonn pa? Ang kapal ng mukha mo! Nagsabi ako di ba, na ayoko na! Nakipaghiwalay na ako sayo."

"Hindi mo na ba ako mahal? Please i-set aside mo muna yung galit mo. Sagutin mo ako nang maayos. Kung ano ang magiging sagot mo, tatangapin ko."

I let out a sigh and walked towards the single couch. Umupo ako dito at sumunod naman siya. Sa totoo lang ayoko sanang makipag-usap sa lasing. Kaso mukhang mas nailalabas niya ang totoong nararamdaman niya kapag nakainom siya. So why not?

"Are you really interested in knowing my answer to your question?"

She nodded as she looked into my eyes.

"Wise, I decided to break up with you because I was no longer in love with you. Despite your kindness and affection towards me, it wasn't enough to sustain our connection. Ang hirap na magpanggap na masaya habang kasama ka pero alam ko naman sa sarili ko na wala na akong nararamdaman sayo. Hindi mo deserve ang ganon. Kaya habang maaga nakipag-break na ako sayo."

Tears were flowing down her face as she moved closer to me and held my hand. I allowed her to do so, understanding the pain she was going through, which mirrored my own. It hurt to see her in such agony, knowing that the choices we made in the past were now affecting our future and causing us both pain. Ang sakit lang din isipin na ito ang kinahantungan namin.

Despite my anger towards her for assaulting me, isinantabi ko muna yun. Gusto kong mag-usap kami nang maayos para maintindihan ko siya, at maintindihan din niya ako. Gusto ko din na ipa-intindi sa kanya na hindi na namin maibabalik ang dati. The fact that our story ended a year ago, when I left her, is something we both need to accept.

I am now living my own life and will soon be getting married and starting a family. All I ask is for her to accept this reality.

"Wise, I understand your pain. Kung may pagmamahal ka pa rin sa akin please set me free. Let's prioritize our own happiness. I am willing to forgive you, but it's time for both of us to move forward with our lives. You are a person who possesses kindness, love, and compassion. Any woman would be lucky to love and be loved by you. If you find happiness, I will genuinely be happy for you too. So, let's put an end to it here."

Wise remained silent, but tears flowed down her face as she knelt in front of me, holding onto my hand. I gently wiped away the tears that had formed in the corners of my own eyes, and then I pulled her into my arms. It was a moment of acceptance and closure. Without any anger or bitterness, I embraced her wholeheartedly, aiming to bring comfort to both of us.

"Wise, you deserve a woman who can return the love and care that you give. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. Keep your heart open and trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right."

I stood up and walked through the door without looking back. Pero rinig ko ang paghagulgol niya ng iyak. I felt a sense of relief after our conversation, as it lightened the burden I had been carrying. Sana ito na ang huli at kung magkakausap pa kami I want everything to be neutral and peaceful. Susubukan ko pa rin na pigilan ang sarili ko na gumanti sa kanya, ang hinihiling ko lang ay lubayan niya ako. Because I want to live a normal and peaceful life with Vonn by my side.

I opened the door to exit, but my mouth fell open in surprise. There stood Vonn right in front of me. Paano niya nalaman na nandito ako?

"I-Im looking for you, Chandra. Nandito ka lang pala. What are you doing here?" tanong ni Vonn. Hindi ako makapagsalita. I gripped the edge of my clothes to calm myself pero bago pa ako makapag-salita. Naramdaman ko na may nakatayo sa likod ko.

"Vonn, I actually called Chandra here to show something. I had planned to give you both a gift for your wedding pero hindi kasi ako magaling pagdating sa pagbibigay ng regalo, so I told Chandra to decide." Wise explained.

Napatingin ako sa mukha ni Vonn, halatang hindi siya convinced sa sinabi ni Wise. Walang sali-salita ay hinawakan ni Vonn ang kamay ko saka kami umalis. Habang palayo kami sa kwarto ni Wise, nilingon ko siya. Nakatayo pa rin sya doon at mapait siyang ngumiti sa akin.

....