From EX to HUSBAND

CHAPTER 29

The day had passed, Rayan hadn't returned yet, I don't know where he was, what condition he was in, but I didn't worry much because he wanted to stay away from me so he was free for me, Aynoor was very surprised by what I told her , she knew things weren't going well between us but she didn't think the situation had gotten that much worse.  We had all already had dinner, I was helping Hani to tidy up the kitchen when i heard Rayan's car, I didn't move from my seat, if he needed me he would have looked for me, and that was not the case because as soon as he entered the house he immediately went to our room , I didn't want to face him either, so I did all my things calmly and when I had finished about half an hour later, I went up to my room.

I had just entered the room, he had a lit cigarette, "What does Azlna want from you, who is he and why is he texting or calling you", said Rayan getting up to reach while I closed the door, it's not like you think, he is just my colleague from work and a good friend and that's it!  "Enough? What is he doing here in Pakistan...you are my wife, I don't tolerate anyone talking to you", I'm not your wife, I don't-- "But yes! You are my wife, MY WIFE", he said yelling and throwing everything on the ground, Rayan RAYAN, I said trying to stop him, but not getting too close, "You know what today and now let's get it over with, you're just my wife", he said approaching me, stop where you are, what do you want demonstrate by behaving like this, "When you have my baby in your tummy then I want to see who else dares to look at you", he said pushing me towards him, No!  Don't you dare, stay away from me, you know you can't lift a finger on my body without my permission, I said, pulling away from him,

"Instead...instead of me", but nothing, you won't do anything, I said giving him a slap since he was getting too close, "I know, I know that I can't do anything without your permission and I will never do anything" he said angrily walking around the room, you, you scare me.... I said doing of the steps behind, "I.... Masheal, enough now I can't take it anymore", he said getting closer while I pushed him saying;  you are smelling of a female perfume, how can you tell that you are tired if I am  the one who is really tired, you've been on another woman's lap, when you have a wife at home, you have been next to a woman, after having blamed your wife, i said pushing him several times while i was crying, "Haa Masheal", he said trying to take me by the shoulders to relax, leave me alone, Rayan you don't deserve me....you always hurt me, always because of you i cried, you were never there when I needed you, I said patting his chest. 

Rayan when you left me a few years ago without giving me a reason, and when my parents gave priority to you saying you did right, Rayan at that moment I needed a shoulder to cry on, I needed you but there was no you, when always in those years I couldn't sleep at night because I couldn't forget you Rayan you weren't there with me, when I spoke to the stars about you or when I realized that you will never come back, Rayan either in that moment of my life you were there, I said crying, while he was trying to relax me and he was listening to me, "I, I didn't think...", what weren't you thinking, in every moment of my life in which I suffered the first person that came to mind was you, Rayan but you weren't there with me, it wasn't possible, when Mama and Baba left for America and I was afraid of you, I was anxious to have you next to you, Rayan you at that moment you were busy with something else, you were my husband you could come and relax me, you could say no to the wedding so now our life was different you think only you are suffering but that's not true who is really suffering it's me because you're never at home, I'm the one who has to hear all the criticisms of people, you tell me a lot that I'm not loyal, but what do you know, what do you know, that like many years ago even now I'm in---, I stopped talking,

"You.. what?", nothing, you expect me to be only yours but then no rule applies to you, I'm the only one that have must to comply with all instructions, you had been with Zoya all day, you weren't ashamed to lie down on her lap, you weren't ashamed when she ran her hand through your hair, you didn't feel the slightest bit of shame for what you did, if I can smell Zoya's profume at a distance like this then how close you will have been to her, and then you say so much that if I carry your baby..... you're just a shame, I said hitting his arms , while he had his gaze down confirming that he was with Zoya.  I will never forget how you treated me when I needed you most, I said throwing all things off the dressing table, my hand was bleeding but I didn't want to stop, "Masheal, stop, take it easy", no Rayan now I don't I can't take it anymore, if this is my destiny then I want to play this card of destiny and free myself from you, I can't suffer anymore, it's just me,