Poem 97|I was not meant to be here

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I was not meant to be here

Pardon? Does this line disturbs you?
Made you feel sick or disgusted of me?
Ha ha ha that's nothing new.

All I do is let the clock tick by,
Just little freak,
That could disappear with a single flick!

I'm supposed to be happy!
Yet –yet... Why do I feel so empty?
...

No right to be happy, no right to be sad.
I can't just savor those rights like any humans had!
I have no right!I have no right... My life is not that bad...

Repeat this, repeat that; try this, try that,
Try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try try, try --- I'm telling you try!!!
Try until it leaves  you all hollow and dry!

How long should I bear this poisonous life?
I can't get out, I'm smiling, I'm faking, why is that?
These tears are fake, this smiles are fake, why is that?

Little by little I am disappearing
Little by little I am forgetting who I am
Little by little by little by little by little...

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