Perfect » n.h {COMPLETED}

I

Hi. I'm Melanie Rolina. I'm 17 years old and life is an absolute nightmare.

Yes. I hate life.

But then again, who wouldn't if they were me?

My living condition is horrid.

My father is an alcoholic.

He abuses my mother and I for the dumbest things. I have bruises, scratches, and scars, apart from the self inflicted ones, from him.

He refuses to get counseling, and we can't call the cops or, so he says, he'll kill us.

My mother is a quite nice woman on the other hand, but she is always away on business whilst I have to stay home with my father. I have to cook and clean for him, so I'm usually the one getting beaten for tiny little mistakes, such as "this piece of bacon is too crispy." "There is dirt on the carpet." or "I don't like fried eggs!"

My father has his own curfews for us, my mothers 9 (unless she has to work past that) and mine 6 (unless I'm spending the night w a friend and have notified both him and my mother AND I have to have every part of the house clean before). If we get home even one minute after curfew, we get beat.

My mother is too scared of my father to try to stand up to him, and I will immediately be beaten and probably killed if I do or say anything.

I have no friends, I have social anxiety, I go to a school with over 6,000 people in it which doesn't help my situation, I am clinically depressed, I have an eating disorder, I'm fat, and I want to die.

I'm such a delightful person.

Would you want be me?

No. You wouldn't. Exactly.

No one would.

I drove up to River Heights High, parking my black Mercedes Benz. It was a gift from my aunt who died last month.

Great.

School is terrible and the people there are horrid as well.

I'm condescendingly bullied by 6 people: Natalia, Jackson, William, Brittany, Hannah, and Marcus. It's like their goal in life is to make mine a living hell, and, even though they have achieved this goal, they seem to never want to stop. Every day is the same hell.

And of course they're walking straight to me, of course. What an amazing way to start my day.

First, Natalia and Jackson, the most popular couple in school and my most consistent and devious bullies, walk up to me with their entourage, Hannah, Brittany, William, and Marcus, following close behind.

"Hey hoe." Jackson starts. "Mind if I..." He says as he knocks me and my books to the ground.

"Well of course I mind, but you don't give a care now do you?" I say, starting to stand back up. This is not normal, as I usually curl up into a ball immediately.

"Finally learned to talk back, eh?" Nicole says, pushing me down once again, but this time I scrape my elbow. I can feel the blood dripping onto the parking lot cement.

Their whole little clique of theirs starts laughing like crazed hyenas.

I sat on the parking lot ground, eyes welling up with tears and hands shaking, waiting for them to leave. I can't cry, not here, not now. I can't show them I'm affected by any of this.

"What, little brat too scared to speak now?" Marcus speaks up, and the crowd goes wild!

"Wow aren't you the genius who finally learned more words than 'yeah' and 'shut up.'" I yelled. At this point, I knew what was coming, and there was no point in trying to stop them.

"Oh that's it. Grab her!" Marcus shouted.

Hannah grabbed my feet whilst William grabbed my hands, holding them steady so it was difficult to move. Marcus runs to my left side and starts bashing his foot into my stomach multiple times as Nicole, Jackson, and Britney did the same.

After about ten minutes of pure pain, they finally stopped attacking me and started talking.

"Has the slut learned her lesson, you think?"

"Well.. No. But she isn't worth our time. Leave her to cry like she always does."

And with that, they left.

Thank God.

My whole body was aching. There were cuts, scratches, and scrapes from the event and I could barely breathe. I could feel where bruises were soon to appear and I could tell the scars from this were here to stay.

Slowly, I raised myself up, seeing small puddles of blood on the parking lot ground.

Step by step I ached and groaned to my car. Every time I inched forward, I regretted every decision I made today.

Shouldn't have come to school.

Shouldn't have gotten out of the car.

Shouldn't have talked back to Jackson AND Marcus.

Shouldn't have stayed.

Should have run.

God I'm an idiot.

I need to tell someone, but no one I know would care.

I tried to think of a way to vent while still being completely anonymous. If anyone knew who I as they'd ignore everything for sure.

A blog? On Tumblr?

•••

I grabbed my laptop off my desk and sat on my bed. I could feel where streams of tears burned paths down my face, and frankly, I didn't care. I was home and no one could see.

I opened the internet and typed "Tumblr" into the search box.

Enter.

I immediately saw tumblr.com at the very top of the page.

Click.

Name: Melanie Rolina
DOB: May 7th, 1997
E-mail: Melanie.Rolina@gmail.com
User: brokenandworthless (.tumblr.com)
Password: *********
Repeat password: *********

I confirmed the E-mail address and I started writing my first post.

Hey everyone xx

I say 'everyone' as if a ton of people read this when frankly, I would be quite surprised if one person read it.

Anyway, how about some introductions?

From there I typed everything about me, other than my name, hometown, school, and other personal stuff like that. I also wrote about my condition and everything I hate about myself, my school situation, my life, etc.

I signed the end of the post with "~brokenandworthless xx"

I took a big breath. Was I really about to post this?

Post.

And that was only the beginning.

(A/N)
Hey guyssss!!

So I hope you like my first chapter! It's not the greatest, I know but it's my first. Stick with it and it will get a lot better, I promise.

Anyway, thanks for reading/commenting/voting, and I'll write again soon

~M xx

*edited*