Perfect » n.h {COMPLETED}

XXVII

I wake up the next morning, my side stinging me, like thousands of needles shoving themselves into my wrists and hips as though they can't live without my pain, but it's better than feeling nothing at all.

I check my phone, more notifications--screaming at me that I'm worthless; fat; unimportant; that I should kill myself. Maybe I should listen to them.

I go through my daily routine, getting a text as I make myself a bowl of cereal.

Niall: Melanieeeeeee

Niall: You should eat with me .

Niall: pleeeeeeasseeee?

Me: I already made me a bowl of cereal, I'm eating right now, noob

Niall: Can I eat with you ?x.

I smile, sending 'okay, but you have to drive over here' back. I stand up, taking in a sharp breath at the pain from my hips and wrists. I grab another bowl, fill it with cereal and milk, and slip on a jacket, though it was practically 100 degrees in the house.

The door rang, and I ran to answer it. Sweaty, shaking hands turned the door knob, "Niall,"

"I missed you, Mel." He said, smiling and hugging me.

I gave him his bowl, and we sat on my couch in front of the TV. I let Niall pick a show, and he turned on a show I was unfamiliar with. I didn't care, though. I didn't watch the the telly anyway, I just stared happily at Niall, who seemed really engrossed in the film playing. It was cute, how he flinched when something crazy happened. When he noticed my admiration, I blushed and looked away.

"I love you."

"I love you too, dork."

•••

I had to go to the bathroom. What? It's a natural thing? Don't look at me like that.

"One sec, I'll be back." I said, standing up to leave, but somehow the sleeve of my jacket got caught under Niall's leg. I tried to pull it out from under him, which resulted in the jacket coming off, and Niall seeing my wrists.

"Melanie.." He started, and I could see the pity in his eyes. I couldn't take it, I didn't want to be pitied over like a child with a scraped knee. I hurried to the bathroom, locking the door behind me and sliding down the other side of it until I sat with my knees to my chest, crying.

"Mel, please open the door," A flustered Niall said through the door.

"I'm sorry. I-I'm disgusting."

"No you're not. Just open the door."

I couldn't bring myself to it. "Just l-leave, you s-shouldnt have to deal w-with me."

It was silent.

•••

About an hour later, I felt okay enough to leave the bathroom. Niall was gone, anyway. I open the door, and, to my surprise, a teary, red-eyed Niall stood on the other side. He grabbed me, and pulled me into a hug.

"You're not disgusting, and you don't deserve to destroy yourself like this. Melanie Elaine Rolina, I love you, and I'm going to try to save you, even if it's the last thing  I do."

He shouldn't say that, I have a feeling it won't last.

Niall had me explain everything to him, and, honestly, it helped loads. I wasn't expecting to feel as secure as I did, but something about Niall.. It makes me feel safe. He gave me his sweater, which I held on to as though it was the only thing keeping me afloat in a wave of emotions.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so genuinely sorry." He said, tears brimming his eyes.

I sigh, "It's not your fault. I'm used to it."

He frowns, looking at me, and I can't help but feel vulnerable. Niall gets up to grab a drink. He gets a text from Luke, and I can't help but read it.

Luke: You done with your whore yet? The boys need you. (btw, when are you going to tell her it's over?)

I delete the message as my heart races.

"Niall, I just realized I have to eat lunch.. with my mom.."

"I can take you! Do you need to get ready?"

"No--Yes--I mean, she wants us dressed up nice, and I need to be alone to get ready.. She's picking me up." How believable, Melanie. Idiot.

"Oh, uh, okay. Well, I guess I'll be going then, love you, Mel." He said, confused, placing a kiss on my cheek.

I begin, to cry, why would Luke say that?

I open Instagram, beginning to stalk him, and I'm majorly sad when I see pictures of him kissing her neck and smiling and looking in her eyes. One photo in particular hurt the worst, captioned '@/MelanieRolina hmm, guess i found someone better, you slut."

And, for the, I don't know, thousandth time, I pull out my razor and begin to carve beautiful, blood red designs into my skin.

(A/N)

GUYS PERFECT IS SO CLOSE TO BEING OVER I CANT HDIEGWUDGEYU NOT READY

~M xx