Told myself: "One more cigarette and I'll stop."
"One more and then I'll stop",
"This is the last one".
"Just one more..",it was never the last.
I lit one night after another, until I have none left, and then I'll buy the next horsetail.
"this is my last one", I repeat after every single Kipper. It was never the last.
And I sit like a complete idiot, because I thought it had passed at some point. But it's never over.
Would my parents know,would they definitely be disappointed too.
But it doesn't change anything at all, and light the next one. pollute my lungs and my thoughts. I know it's a shame ,but
Will I stop?
I'm not addicted, quite the opposite. I can stop whenever I want. But I don't because I don't want to. Now the next one..
This because of stress, another one because it hurts, the next because I'm alone..
For every fag I have an excuse and a story,
1 feeling..
I'm lighting the next one while I'm writing this
I am aware, that what I'm doing right now is harming me..
"But I won't stop"
I don't like the smell or the taste. That doesn't stop me from lighting the next one..
But today or tomorrow ,I'll stop doing that?
"this isn't about cigarettes"
YOU ARE READING
Lost in feelings
RastgeleWhen u feel down read this .. might not help but u will realize how you feel for the moment. It's my thoughts,my pain that I wanna show to let ppl know u are not alone.. it's quite simpel not a story but hope you will like it.
