𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝

Chapter 9 - Why So Serious ?

"Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different."
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Alice

    The week goes by smoothly. Following my new resolutions, I start to take care of myself, I try to go out more, overall to be a better person. The only thing that matters to me now is getting better.

    To do so, I've started many things. First of all, I don't try anymore to see anyone other than Mask. It's been hard, but anytime I saw someone else, I could only think of what had happened with Dylan, and how I didn't want to be in this position ever again. This decision had made Stella very happy, since she had always told me to stop seeing so many random men. I guess she is just sad that it took my therapist and a masked man to get me to change.

    I also attended class more often. I was still absent a few times a week, obviously, but I still found myself on a good path. Change isn't going to happen overnight, and I'm aware of it.

    So, overall, life has been great. I've been seeing Mask almost every day, and each night is as torrid as the first one ; he satisfies me, to a point where I don't feel the need to run to anyone else when I'm desperate. I still don't know his name, nor what he looks like, but I find that it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. In a sense, it makes our situation even better, more exciting.

    Or there might just be something wrong with me.

    Still, I feel better ; by going out more often, I think less about sex or porn. I go out with Stella, attend my classes, study, and I even went once to the restaurant with my brother. It was a shitshow, but still. I tried.

    And even if all of these are only small steps, I'm proud of myself. Getting better isn't easy, especially when you look at my starting point. It's already a miracle that I find myself wanting to get better.

    So it's to get better that I find myself on a bus, on my way to Alexander's friend's house to plan his birthday party. It has always amused me how all of my family's birthdays are so close to each other ; mine, then Juliette's, then my brother's, all of these in the span of one single month. All of these parties keep me occupied, though, and I know that's what I need.

    I also happen to like Alexander's friends a bit, at least most of them. They've always been nice to me, and even back when I was little, I found them funny and entertaining. Nothing had changed.

    I'm drawn out of my thoughts when I hear the name of my stop ringing in my ears. I get out of the bus, thank the driver, and head towards the address Enzo had sent me earlier on our Whatsapp group, made specially for my brother's birthday party.

    As I walk into the street, I take the time to appreciate my surroundings. God, I love London in autumn. As I stroll down the quaint, tree-lined street, the air is crisp with the scent of fallen leaves. The once-verdant trees now boast a magnificent display of fiery reds, burnt oranges, and golden yellows, their leaves rustling underfoot with every step I take, and like a child, I take the time to step on each one of them, just because I love the crackling sound they make when I crush them.

The street is drenched in the soft, warm hues of the setting sun, casting a gentle glow upon the houses around me adorned with pumpkins and wreaths. Perhaps Alexander and I should've decorated our apartment as well, even though I know him ; he would've hated the idea. I'm the only one who likes to have fun in this apartment.

The atmosphere is alive with the comforting aroma of freshly baked apple pies wafting from a nearby bakery, mingling harmoniously with the earthy perfume of damp soil. The sweet scent makes my stomach rumble with hunger, and I hope that there will be something to eat at Enzo's place.