𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝

Chapter 1 - The Death Cheat

"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it."
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Alice

– "The girl who cheated death", no, honestly, that sounds good ! I would read it, I really would !

I shake my head at the absurdity my best friend, Stella, just said. There is no way I'm ever naming my autobiography that. There's no way I'm ever writing my autobiography, end of story.

– It sounds atrocious, I respond, but still with a huge smile on my face that says the exact opposite.

– Well, it would attract readers, that's for sure, Stella looks at me, grinning, and I shrug.

I really do not want to write a book that would talk about my pathetic life experience. That manuscript would be nothing but lines and lines of me complaining and making people feel bad for me because, oh, wow, that girl's been through it. No shit, Sherlock.

Not to mention I absolutely don't have the concentration needed for it, and Stella knows that. Nor the passion. She's just trying to find me new hobbies and, really, I get her intention, but I wish she would just stop trying. I'm really happy with what I have.

I eye the server passing by us. And what I could have...

– Bitch, are you even listening to me ? Stella is looking at me with angry eyes, and I guess she noticed where my gaze was. But oh my, that ass!

– I'm sorry, Stella, I really am, but my case is hopeless, you should just give up. I'm not unhappy and you know that, au contraire.

Stella shakes her head and takes her phone, showing it to me while reading the text on the screen that I know by heart. I just always ignore it but, this time, she's forcing me to check it out..

– "Compulsive sexual thoughts and/or behavior leads to increasingly serious consequences, in both the addict's internal and external worlds. The consequences may include severe depression, often with suicidal ideation, low self-esteem, shame, self-hatred, hopelessness, despair, helplessness, intense anxiety, loneliness, moral conflict, contradictions between ethical values and behaviors, fear of abandonment, spiritual bankruptcy, distorted thinking, remorse, and self-deceit." This is not funny, Alice. An addiction is always a serious matter.

– Damn, Stella, could you say it any louder for the people in the back ? I think they didn't quite hear you !

– Well, perhaps shame will manage to do what I've been trying to achieve for God knows how long !

I shake my head, and I have to admit that I am kind of annoyed. I love my best friend and I appreciate her concern for me, but most of the time it's really exhausting because, hell, I don't want to change ! Sex is an escape for me, a very constant part of my life and it would never hurt me, I know it. Stella doesn't.

– I know your point and I get it, babe. But I'm happy and, as I already told you, I'm being careful, nothing's going to happen to me. I'm not reckless, I care about my health.

My best friend shakes her head and I know that she's not convinced, but I couldn't care less now that the server I was eyeing earlier seemed to have noticed me. I take her hand and press it, and give her a reassuring smile. She finally folds and takes a deep breath, looking defeated.

– Alright, I get it, you're not listening. Well, if you're not going to change, at least... Make sure you're careful with your partner choices. Stop picking random strangers everywhere you go, wait, I've heard about something.