𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝

Chapter 15 - Proximity

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."
― Oscar Wilde, De Profundis

Alice

    When I wake up, as expected, I'm alone. I knew Orion would leave overnight, but I still find myself disappointed somehow. He probably left as soon as I fell asleep, or before I woke up. No matter, because the side of the bed where his body was laying last night is now cold, as if no one was ever there if it wasn't for the wrinkled sheets and the glass of water with medicine next to my bed. He thought of everything.

    As I sit on my bed, I feel my head hurting, probably because of the amount of alcohol I've had last night. I don't exactly remember how many drinks I've had, but I know for sure that it was a lot, because I almost cannot stand up when I try to.

    I'm instantly thankful for the glass of water on my nightstand, which I take with some medicines, immediately sighting with relief. What was going on in our heads, throwing a party a day before class ? I regret it now for sure.

    Weirdly, I can recall everything from the evening. I would've thought that, because of all the drinks I've had, my memory would be blurred, and I wouldn't be able to remember anything besides the beginning - which wasn't glorious, if I might say.

    But I can still see it all in my head : the well decorated place, my brother arriving in a fury. Those are not great memories, but they are followed by the sight of Orion dancing with me - and I'm thankful for my mind for not focusing on the vision of this girl on his lap, I hope for her that I won't see her again - and almost kissing me. Or was that a fantasy ? No, that must've happened. He slept right next to me, walked me home, so surely it happened.

    And the game in the room - that was something. How the heck did I end up sitting on him ? I was completely passed out, sure, but still. Why did he accept ? Why did Alexander not react ? That's not like him, and that's not like Orion either. I can perfectly recall his arms holding me tight, preventing me from falling while sleeping, his protective attitude...

    It feels like a dream, like none of this happened, but it did, I'm sure of that. I'm simply confused about Alex's reaction. I can only think about that one time Enzo tried to flirt with me a few years ago, and my brother had simply... Well, his face sure looked different the next day, that's all I'll say.

    But he didn't do anything about Orion, he even somehow encouraged our closeness, which is what's strangest to me. He could've ignored our proximity because of how much he'd drank as well, but asking him to take me home ? Camille and Ava could've done it, after all, I came with them, even though he didn't know that at the time.

    Whatever, I think. I can also just brush it off and not worry about it, because questioning Alexander would only lead to another fight between us. I can only be glad he allowed us this moment of proximity.

    The thing is, I'm not sure what to think concerning this new relation between me and his best friend. Was all this closeness due to the alcohol, or was it more than that ? They often say that alcohol reveals the real us, so was that Orion's way of admitting that he's interested in me ?

    I have so many questions in my head and will probably not get any answers any time soon. I don't know if I should feel excited or mortified. How should I act with him once I see him in the corridors of the university ? Should I ignore him, say hi, hug him ? I absolutely have no idea, and I think that Stella would tell me that the best solution would be to directly talk to him.

    Stella. Stella, who I almost haven't seen during the party, because she was hanging out with Camille, I believe, since Ava was talking with Orion while I was asleep - something I really don't want to think about. I miss her, but I have no idea of how I could make myself forgiven. I've tried to call her so many times that she probably has my number blocked by now, and she never answered once. It's as if I've disappeared from her life, and it hurts so much, as if there was a hole in my heart.