𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝

Chapter 24 - Despair

"It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do."
― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

Orion

As I awaken, my tears blur the haunting memory of what transpired moments ago. My entire body throbs with an inexplicable ache, my head spinning with dizziness, while I find myself sprawled on the grass in a deserted park, completely bewildered by how I arrived here in the dead of night.

Surveying my surroundings, a wave of confusion washes over me. Not a single inkling of recognition dawns regarding my current location or the peculiar circumstances leading to my presence here. I know my way around the city ; I've lived here my entire life. And this surely doesn't feel like a familiar place at all, quite the contrary.

I've never felt confusion when it came to my whereabouts, I knew the city better than anyone. So why was it that I couldn't identify this place ? Was I really that far from home, or was my head hit so hard that my memories were failing me to the point of my sense of orientation leaving me ?

Struggling to my feet, I instinctively delve into my pockets, a desperate attempt to retrieve my phone, hoping to find some information on my location, by GPS, I guess. However, I don't find it. Which leads me to think that someone must've been here with me ; there is no way I would ever forget my phone at home. I can be sometimes forgetful, but I wouldn't wander this far away from home with no way to get back. All of this leads me to the conclusion that I am completely lost, in the middle of nowhere, with not a shed of memory of how I ended up here in the first place.

That's when I resolve to make my way out of the park. Exiting a park shouldn't pose a significant challenge, when you really think about it. Given the plethora of signs scattered throughout the town, finding my way home should be a straightforward task. No need to worry on that part. Actually, it was more the lack of memory that got me worked up.

I decide to get back to this part of my situation when I manage to get back home. For now, I need to get out of the park.

So that's what I do ; I navigate through the park by following the signs to get out of the place, and once I'm back on the streets, I try to identify my surroundings. If I had to take a guess, I would say that I am in the southern part of town, for the buildings around me are aged, mostly deserted. A glance into the distance reveals the marked contrast with the northern part of the city.

Unluckily for me, I live up there. Which means that I've come a long way from my apartment, and can't seem to recall why nor how. However, I remind myself once again that, before trying to solve this problem, I should try and get to my place first.

I've ventured into the southern part of town a handful of times in the past, especially when I was in high school, because the students liked to throw parties in the deserted buildings. I don't recognize the ones around me, but I recall that there should be a bus stop nearby because there were a lot of those a few years ago. I used to take them because I didn't know how to drive a car. And I still don't.

The next few minutes happen in a blur ; I wander around, find the closest bus stop, check if it serves my street, and wait for about ten minutes. During these few minutes alone, I try to piece together the events that led me here. The throbbing pain in my head suggests a possible blow, implying that the amnesia I'm grappling with may be a consequence of some form of injury.

Gradually, fragments of my memory start to resurface. I remember deciding to go for a walk after overthinking my relationship with Alice, and I cringe at the thought. The internal monologue proved ineffective; I had to let go. There was no other choice for me, and the simple thought of that made my chest ache. So I walked and... And that's pretty much it. Nothing else seems to come to me. My memory was failing me.