Fury | Nyx Archeron

Chapter Fifteen

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would it be enough, if i could never give you peace?

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The thing about anxiety is that it stops you in your tracks. You might know logically that you need to do something, but you'll avoid doing it for as long as you possibly can. As much as Tessa wanted to take Rhysand's advice, that underlying fear had held her back. Every time she went to bring up her worries, something inside her would freeze and in a panic, she'd back off, telling herself she'd do it another day.

Tessa hated letting her fears control her—she hated being afraid. But even more; she detested that little voice in her head whispering what if. What if she told him her worries and he agreed? What if he did call it quits? What then? So instead she avoided thinking about it as much as possible.

Her worry lingered in the back of her mind most days, but as she woke up of a morning she did her best to quell it, shoving it down as far as possible so she could go about her day and pretend everything was normal—as if any of her life these days was 'normal'.

Tessa sighed, rolling onto her side so she could lift a hand to Nyx's face, brushing back his hair. He was sleeping soundly, his arms and wings cocooned around her as they usually were when he was dead to the world. He looked so peaceful like this—beautiful. It was a pleasing contrast to the stress he'd been wearing as of late; his preparation for the trip into Hybern wearing on him.

She couldn't wait for the signing to be over. She was concerned of course, about the trap he was walking into—just another worry to add to her list—but she also was hoping that after it was said and done she might be able to see him more, step back from training slightly so they could have some time together.

Their respective duties consumed so much of their days there was barely more to their relationship at the moment than holding each other at night and Tessa was simultaneously over it and relieved she didn't have to think too much about their future. Dawn light was beginning to creep in through the window—the first morning rays probably what woke her. Soon she would have to pull herself from his embrace and head up to the House of Wind.

His hair was growing out; it would probably need a trim soon, she thought. The morning sun illuminated his tan skin and the full pink of his lips and gods, Tessa loved him. Regardless of her fears, she would try to hold onto him for as long as he would allow her—this feeling in her chest wouldn't let her do anything less.

She traced her fingers over his tattoos, admiring his muscles as her palm flattened on his chest. He groaned in his sleep and she watched, fascinated, as his eyes twitched back and forth beneath their lids. Tessa laid her head down, pressing a gentle kiss to his chest as she returned her leg to its place between his.

He moaned suddenly and she could feel his morning arousal against her hip. His wings jerked slightly and Tessa huffed out a laugh, realising what kind of dream he was having. Looking back to the window she estimated she had a little time before she had to go. Tessa kissed her way up his throat wetly, stopping to breathe in his ear, "Nyx, wake up."

His eyes blinked rapidly as he woke, glazed over for a brief moment until he focused on her. "Good morning little fury," he murmured, arms tightening around her waist.

"Morning baby." She felt him shudder against her at the name, eyes closing briefly as he tried not to move. They hadn't really done much since that first night at the cottage and it had been weeks. They'd been exhausted obviously, but still. She missed him. She wanted so many things with him.