This Life

Chapter 3

It had been four weeks since Meredith had met Derek and Beth in Boston Common and Meredith could not believe how much things had changed since then.

After they had met they must have sat there for nearly an hour chatting about Beth, their jobs, their love of Boston and the Red Sox and even the weather.

Now here she was packing up the last of her few belongings and handing them over the Fed EX agent for the journey to Seattle. She walked over and locked her suitcase and made sure she had her tickets as Derek and Beth would be here shortly to collect her and head over to the airport.

She cast her mind back to that sunny afternoon.

Her first impression of Derek was that of someone who was well educated and came from a rich family. His interests would probably include opera, classical music and would have memberships for the most elite golf and yacht clubs on the east coast.

So imagine her surprise when he told her that his favourite band was The Clash and also enjoyed blasting some Bon Jovi and Metallica and when it came to sport he was devoted fan of the Red Sox and New England Patriots. He told her that he could not wait to take Beth to her first game at Fenway Park and watch the Red Sox knock the seven bells out of the Yankees.

Derek seemed to be equally surprised that he had met a good looking woman who just as passionate about the Red Sox as he was and who also enjoyed the same tastes in music as him.

Meredith had sat and waited for the moment that he would mention his wife and she would suddenly remember that all the good, nice and caring men in the world were spoken for.

Derek meanwhile had sat and watched at how well Beth was getting on with Meredith. He smiled, suddenly realising how unsuited he and Addison had been. The only thing they had in common was medicine and to be the best in their respective careers. Addison enjoyed tennis while Derek preferred baseball. Every time he would play his Clash albums Addison would tut her disapproval. She however was into opera, ballet and classical music recitals. There were at least three visits to the ballet every year and Derek personally would have found pulling his own teeth more enjoyable. When Derek suggested going to see a rock gig Addison had been horrified.

So imagine his delight when he discovered the young woman in front of him had been to one of the biggest rock festivals in England earlier that year.

It was only when Beth realised that she was no longer the centre of attention and started crying that broke up Meredith and Derek discussing the above mentioned rock festival and some of the best albums of the last few years along with the recent success of the Red Sox.

"Hey are we ignoring you" Meredith said to Beth.

"That and the fact that she is probably hungry" Derek said suddenly realising the time. "I had better get going before grandma sends out a search party." He joked as picked Beth up and put her back in her buggy.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to keep you back. I'll ..." Derek looked at Meredith as she started to ramble.

"No, you didn't keep us back. It was actually quite nice to have a conversation with another adult that didn't involve feeding routines and dirty diapers."

"Well if you want to have that conversation I certainly have plenty of stories to share" Meredith laughed.

"True." Derek smiled at her. "Truthfully though, mom was probably glad of the peace and quiet for a while. Madam here has been playing everyone up lately and this intense heat has not helped."

"Tell me about it. Everyone, children included were all in a grouchy bad mood today too." Meredith replied.

"Unfortunately Beth's temper tantrums have been lasting longer than one day." Derek answered.

"Oh, she could be teething?" Meredith said softly.

"That's what mom thought too but after her first tooth came through the tantrums continued and she will not settle for anyone. Except you..." Derek smirked at her and could not help but be amused at the blush in Meredith's cheeks.

"I'm sorry" Meredith stammered.

"No don't be. It is actually nice to see her meet someone new and rather than scream her lungs out, cling on to you and play with you." Derek said smiling warmly at Meredith.

"She's shy with strangers?" asked Meredith

"Yes, why?" asked Derek

"Well you wouldn't think that considering she just crawled over and drooled on me" giggled Meredith.

"Well Beth is a very smart child. She takes after her father, she must like you."

Meredith definitely blushed this time. Derek smiled even more.

"So what are you doing tomorrow?"

Meredith giggled as thought back to that afternoon. She was embarrassed by the compliments that Derek had given her. She simply was not used to anyone paying her a compliment and usually turned bright red with any small of amount of praise she received.

When he asked what she was doing the next day she nearly passed out and rambled like only she could that it would not be appropriate to go out with a married man.

That was when Derek told her that Beth's mother did not live with them anymore and that he had not had any contact with her for six months. When Meredith heard that she literally wished the earth would swallow her up she was so embarrassed.

She could not help but feel sad for both Derek and Beth at the way they had been abandoned by Addison. She did not want to admit that she was secretly happy that Derek was single, not that he would be interested in her in any way, shape or form.
She soon realised that Derek would not take no for an answer and agreed to meet him at the park again tomorrow afternoon.

She woke the next morning grateful that it was her day off. She had some errands that she needed to do before heading down to the common to meet Derek after lunch.

Derek and Beth were already there and again Beth crawled straight over to her as soon as she saw her. They had a fun afternoon crawling around after Beth and they had all went paddling at Frog Pond. Meredith had never felt more alive and happy and reminded her of the days she had spent as a nanny in London.

After an hour of having both of Derek and Meredith chasing around after her, Beth eventually fell asleep in Meredith's arms and Derek bought her an ice cream. Like the day before they sat and talked for ages discussing their favourite movies, books, television shows and their favourite places in Boston.

Derek told her about his job as a neurosurgeon and about the two previous nannies he had hired and since fired. Meredith in return told him about her days as a nanny in London. It was at that point that Derek had asked her if she would be interested in becoming Beth's new nanny.

Meredith could not believe her ears and her luck. Here was a good looking man with a great sense of humour offering her job as a nanny. As much as she loved working in the crèche she really wanted away from her boss. Derek had explained that she did not need to answer him straight away and they exchanged telephone numbers. He had then insisted that they go for a meal that night to discuss the position, even though to Meredith it sounded more like he was asking her out for a date.

They had gone to one of the many Irish bars in Boston where Derek proudly boasted that his family tree originated back in Ireland and how he loved this particular bar with the traditional Irish music and Irish menus. Meredith laughed and told him that when living in London she had gone to Ireland for a weekend and had to visit many bars to try and find Irish music playing and corned beef and cabbage on the menu.

"What was on the menu?" a shocked Derek answered.

"Hamburgers, fries, lasagne in most bars and most restaurants served Chinese, Indian or Italian food. The music was chart hits or a local band trying to make it big." She looked at his face and laughed "Sorry to ruin the dream. There are traditional Irish pubs set up for tourists but you need to look for them".

The dinner date had went well – very well and it wasn't until they were getting into the taxi that Derek realised that they had not yet discussed the job offer.

Once the taxi had pulled up outside her apartment Derek insisted on walking her to her door. She was tempted to invite him in for coffee but it just did not feel right. She really wanted out of the crèche and as much as she would have loved to have a relationship with him it just did not feel right.

They said their goodnights and Meredith had arranged to visit Derek's apartment the next day to discuss the job offer.

The next day Meredith arrived on time at Derek's apartment and when she knocked on the door she was instantly greeted by a much older woman with short silver gray hair.

"You must be Meredith." The older woman had asked.

"Yes" stammered Meredith.

"Well come in, forgive me I'm Carolyn Shepherd, Derek's mother, he has spoken none stop about you over the last few days."

'Oh dear God' thought Meredith. "I have to pass the mother test."

"It's nice to meet you" Meredith shakily answered back.

"Look who's here Beth" Derek said as he came over to greet her. Beth immediately reached over to be in Meredith's arm. An act that did not go unnoticed by Carolyn.

As tempted as she was Carolyn decided not to charge in with all guns blazing and ask Meredith a hundred questions about her child care experience and instead took a step back.

She offered coffee and freshly baked muffins which Meredith quickly decided were the nicest she had ever had. Carolyn stood at the kitchen counter pretending to be tidying while observing the sight in front of her.

She had not seen Derek as happy since the day Beth was born. In fact it was probably the happiest she had seen him in a long time. Her granddaughter was actually crawling around and playing happily with Meredith a sight which not only shocked her but pleased her – Beth had never played or acted so well behaved around her aunts or cousins.

As for Meredith she was obviously used to working with children and she acted so normal and casual with Beth, but Carolyn could not but notice that she came across as quiet and shy. Nonetheless she liked the girl and a blind man could have seen the attraction between her son and the young woman.

Carolyn Shepherd realised that Meredith might be the best thing to happen to Derek.

Several hours later Derek walked Meredith back out to her taxi and promised to call her tomorrow. He went back into his apartment where his mother simply greeted him with "She's the one."

Derek had called her as promised the following day and told her that she had the job as Beth's nanny if she was still interested.

Meredith delightfully hung up her cell phone and handed in her resignation effective immediately to her boss. She was so excited and could not believe her luck that she could not wait to get started. She called Derek back and asked if it is was okay if she started the following day.

Derek was ecstatic.

Meredith had quickly set up a routine with Beth and Derek. She would arrive at his apartment for 8am every morning just in time for Beth's breakfast. After the third morning Derek had insisted on making her pancakes for breakfast after he had discovered that she normally skipped breakfast. Derek would leave for work around 8:30 and she would clear up the dishes and put on any laundry before heading out for the morning. Her and Beth would go the park and the aquarium and generally chill out and have some fun.

Most afternoons when Beth was sleeping Meredith would attempt to make a dinner. It was not that she was a bad cook she just did not have enough patience and never had anyone to show her how to master it. The only dish she could successfully master was Spaghetti Bolognese and she thought that Derek would not want that every night of the week.

After the first week Derek politely asked Meredith not to make dinner – his exact words had been that it was enough she was doing their laundry without cooking as well - he would cook when he came home around 6pm... and invited Meredith to stay most nights for dinner.

Meredith stopped cooking and decided to start baking with Beth instead. Derek arrived home early one afternoon to find them both sitting on the kitchen floor mixing ingredients for brownies. There were probably more ingredients on them and the floor than what was in the bowl. Derek had laughed out loud and reached from the camera.

The brownies were simply delicious with Derek bringing in them into the practice boasting of his daughter's baking skills.

The next day Derek invited Meredith to join him and Beth and the rest of his family for the Memorial Day weekend down at the family home on Cape Cod. Meredith at first refused and said that she had made arrangements with friends. She hadn't of course; she was just using that as an excuse. The truth was that the thought of spending the weekend with Derek and his family terrified her.

It was stupid really. All her life she had dreamed of being a part of a large family and although she knew Derek and his mother would make her feel welcome she could not help but feel that she would be intruding and no doubt his sister's would ask a million questions about her and the last thing she wanted was Derek and his family finding out about her family life. The last thing she wanted was to be made fun off and no doubt Derek would not want someone as messed up as her looking after his daughter.

She could see that Derek was disappointed when she declined the offer of the weekend away, however two hours later and after a one way telephone conversation with Carolyn Meredith was heading to Cape Cod for the weekend.
Derek had finished early that Friday so that they could head straight down to the Cape before the roads got too busy. Derek talked nonstop the whole way there about the Cape and how he loved the relaxed atmosphere and the salty air. Meredith had to remind him several times that she been to the Cape before – albeit not since her return from London and they both shared stories of summer days on Hyannis beach.

Meredith was speechless when she saw the Shepherd's house. It was a classic Cape Cod house – painted with grey cedar shingles and was overlooking the sea. It was absolutely beautiful.

As soon as Meredith opened the car door she was greeted with the sound of children playing down at the beach. Derek smiled then grimaced – "that is the sound of my numerous nieces and nephews – you will get to know them really well very soon!"

And Meredith certainly did. She had been dreading that weekend and it turned out to be one of the best weekends of her life.

Both Carolyn and Michael had been very welcoming and gave her own en-suite bedroom. She was introduced to everyone and both she and Derek's youngest sister Sam had hit it off straight away. Sam's husband Gavin was a chef and had spent most of Sunday morning showing and teaching Meredith various different recipes to cook. She had spent most of the weekend down on the beach with Derek and his sister Sam who were both trying to teach their children how to build the best sandcastle.

The only thorn in the whole weekend had been Derek's older sister Nancy. She had been best friends with Addison and was still having trouble believing that Addison had walked out on her family.

Nancy could clearly see Derek's attraction to Meredith and decided that she wanted to know a little more information about the nanny. Over Sunday dinner she quizzed Meredith about her family and why she lived in London. Meredith decided to tread carefully and somehow managed to hold her ground under the interrogation. She explained that she had one older sister who she was not really close to.

Meredith went on to explain that she was qualified in childcare and had been a nanny in London and also about how she had been a carer for her mother. However Nancy wanted more answers and sensing Meredith's discomfort Carolyn politely told her to stop the questioning.

Meredith offered to help tidy up and do the dishes but was ordered out of the kitchen by Derek's father who said he would be offended at a guest washing the dishes. In order to clear her head Meredith went for a walk along the beach.

A short while later Derek joined her on the beach. He could not but how happy Meredith had been all weekend and how her whole demeanour had changed following Nancy's questioning.

"I'm sorry about Nancy; she always has been the interrogator of the family." He said as he walked up behind her.

"It's okay. She's your sister she is just looking out for you" Meredith replied quietly staring out at the ocean.

"Nancy has to know every little piece of information about everyone. There are no secrets were she is concerned. Meredith I apologise if she has offended or upset you in any way."Derek said.

Meredith did not want to get in to this conversation – not here, not now and ruin what she had thought had been a great weekend.

"Don't worry its fine. Believe me I've heard and dealt with a lot worse" Meredith replied.

Meredith sat down in the sand and Derek joined her.

"This really a beautiful place your parents have here." Meredith as took in the scene in front of the house, gardens and isolated beach.

"I love it here. But trust me with my nieces and nephews the house is rarely ever quiet. Out here however is different." He smiled.

"You have no idea how lucky you are Derek, to have a family that looks out for you and cares for you."

"You cared for your mother – you're close to her and I am sure she misses you."
Meredith started to laugh at this comment.

"What's so funny?" Derek asked confused at why she would be laughing at his comment.

"It's a long story that I do not want to get into – not here anyway." She stood up and turned to walk back into to the house when Derek reached out and held her hand.

"Meredith..."

"Derek don't...not here ..."

Derek was at a loss at what to say or do. He hated the expression on Meredith's face. He knew that there was something that she was not telling him but he did not want to press the issue. She would tell him in her own good time.

Looking into her tearful eyes he knew in that moment that he wanted to make her smile and for her to be happy and to be more than Beth's nanny. He wanted her to become a part of the family.

He reached out and pulled her towards him letting her cry softly on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Meredith" he whispered gently.

In the few days since their return from the Cape Meredith had started to notice how Derek would cast an extra glance in her direction when making dinner and would ask for her opinion on something in the news. On one occasion when chasing after Beth they collided with one another. In a split second it felt as if the world had stopped and all she wanted to do was kiss him, but she couldn't – in her eyes having a relationship with Derek was wrong when he was paying her to look after his daughter.

She still stayed for dinner most nights and would help get Beth settled for bed and she would still be there at 10pm, with her and Derek losing track of time chatting about Beth and his family and watching the Red Sox game on the television. She could not help but be attracted to Derek.

One night after dinner and Beth was fast asleep Derek told her about a job offer he had received from a former colleague and mentor Richard Webber. He offered Derek the head of Neurology at Seattle Grace Hospital and the possibility of being Chief when he retired. The pay was excellent and he explained to Meredith that he had accepted the position.

As much as he loved having his family nearby, he needed a fresh start out of Boston and away from memories of him and Addison on every street corner. He needed to prove to himself and his family that he could look after Beth.

Meredith was quietly devastated. Here she had finally found the perfect job and the perfect guy and it was over in the space of a few weeks. She had the chance of having a normal life and now it was gone. She managed to look calm and just about heard the question that Derek asked her.

"I know I am asking a lot, but Beth loves you and frankly I would be lost without you – but would you consider moving to Seattle with us? I mean as Beth's nanny and maybe as...I don't know what I'm saying other than the fact that I like you... a lot and I care for you and I want to get to know you better"

'Oh God' Meredith silently thought.

Meredith had accepted the job offer much to Derek's delight. However it would be on one condition. She explained that although she did have feelings for him, things would have to remain professional with them. She was either Beth's nanny or his girlfriend but she could not be both.

"It just wouldn't be right for me to date my boss – I'm sorry."

Derek could understand the way she felt and reluctantly he put the needs of his daughter before his. He just hoped that when they got to Seattle he could change her mind.
........................................
Meredith could hear the car horn signalling that Derek had pulled up outside – she doubled checked that she had everything and closed her apartment door.

She could not help but feel slightly nervous – was she doing the right thing? However at the same time she had never felt more alive and happy in her whole life.