This Life

Chapter 40

That night was the first night in weeks that Meredith had a good night's sleep and she groaned when her alarm clock went off. She was supposed to meeting Jack at his office later in the morning.

"A few more minutes," she mumbled as she lay back down "a few more minutes before Beth starts singing..."

Meredith sat up the second she mentioned Beth's name. Beth was not here, Derek was not here... and in that moment Meredith realised that not only did she miss Beth, but she really missed Derek. She missed him rolling over and switching off the alarm clock and kissing her good morning. She missed the way he always offered to make her breakfast and how they normally showered together while Beth was still sleeping. She missed the way he would whisper "I love you" after they made love when he thought she was sleeping.

She remembered the look on his face at the spa when they first talked about marriage and the joy on his face when she mentioned she was ready to have his baby.

Ever since lunch yesterday with Anna, Meredith had being thinking about her discussion that sometimes we all say something hurtful to the people we love. A part of her knew deep down if she did not go back to Derek she would revert back to the shy quiet woman that she used to be who never be able to trust anyone ever again.

It was then Meredith asked herself the question "Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life or be with Derek and Beth?"

Meredith knew the only way to answer her question was to speak to Derek and try and figure out some way to find out if he truly loved her.

Meredith got up and dressed and was soon on her way to meet Jack at his office and together they went through the plastic folder she had found the previous day. They not only found statements but also letters regarding a storage facility just outside Boston.

"Do you have any idea what Thatcher could have been storing?" Jack asked.

"I have an idea, but I'm not sure," Meredith answered remembering something her mother had said about photo albums being lost in the move years ago.

"Okay, I'll fax this stuff over to this lawyer friend of yours in Boston," Jack said as he stood up and headed for the fax machine.

"He's Derek's brother-in-law," Meredith explained. "Jack, do I need to be here... in London?"

"Not really anything regarding the sale of the house can be done by fax, why?" Jack asked although he suspected he already knew the answer.

"I think it's time for me to go back and sort things out properly with Derek," Meredith replied.

Jack smiled "I've already threatened him with death if he hurts you again."

Meredith rolled her eyes and smiled.

It was late by the time Meredith returned home. The house was finally up for sale and Jack had organised for the furniture to be removed and sent to various charities as soon as Meredith returned to the US. She threw her handbag on to the table and opened the freezer to lift out one of the many frozen dinners Anna had prepared for her when she heard her cell phone ringing.
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Derek pov

For Derek the last few hours had been a nightmare.

When he had walked into the OR he could not help but look at the young woman he was about to operate on. Her hair was the same length and colour as Meredith and for the briefest of moments Derek wondered how Meredith was. He was broken from his thoughts when the OB attending strode into the theatre and barked out his orders.

His patient had a clot in the brain and he fought for hours to try and remove it, and just when he thought he was getting somewhere the patient started to flat line...
An hour later and Derek was mess "I killed her. I am a murderer," Derek muttered as he sat in the chief's office.