This Life

Chapter 39

On the morning that Ellis flew back to Seattle to prepare for Molly's funeral Meredith had made a list of things she had to do.

- Meet with bank manager about her father's debts
- Funeral expenses
- What to do about the house
- Sort out Molly and Thatcher's belongings
- Send some things to her mother in Maine
- And the hardest one – think about Derek and if they had a future

The meeting with the bank went well and all their debts had been cleared by Derek's generous gift, which Meredith still had reservations about.

When she got home she sat down on the sofa to think about what to do with the house. Ellis made it clear that the decision was Meredith's to make. She lay back and closed her eyes and let her thoughts take over, all of which revolved around Derek and whether she could ever forgive him for what he had said and done.

She could keep the house and live here in London and start all over again... a fresh start away from everything... but no, she hated this house... 'I could sell it and move somewhere else...' Meredith thought.

'What about Beth...' as angry and confused as she was about Derek, Meredith missed the little girl more than what she thought was possible and even if she never forgave Derek she would want to be close to Beth.

'So I sell the house and split the money with mom and move back to Seattle. I can use the money from the house to start again in Seattle...' Meredith continued.

Meredith closed her eyes and kept picturing the happy and good times with Derek and she smiled. She yearned for those moments... and then she could hear his cruel words...'but think of distance he travelled to be here...' she thought again.

Meredith spent the best part of the next two days lying on the sofa thinking about Derek, her father and her childhood. Her head hurt from thinking so much.

By the third day Jack came round and insisted she clean herself up as they had a meeting with the bank manager. Meredith was even more confused by the end of the day. Jack had discovered that Thatcher had another bank account with £5,000 pounds in it. The bank manager explained that Thatcher had opened the account just after Meredith had moved back to Boston and wanted to have some money saved in case of an emergency or if anything had happened to her.

The only thought now in Meredith's head was that if that was the purpose of the bank account then why did he not fly over after she was shot? Even Jack could not answer this.

Meredith spent the next few days going through everyone's belongings. Ellis had requested a few items to be sent over to her in Maine and Meredith did that first.

After that she put all of Molly's clothes into bin bags and left them out with the rest of the household garbage.

When she finally started to go through Thatcher's things she spent more time reminiscing at the old books and other bits and pieces than actually clearing out.
Meredith was still not sleeping or eating properly. Anna was leaving dinners with her nearly every night but Meredith would only take a few mouthfuls before feeling sick.

By now Jack was worried about her and to Meredith's surprise had booked her on a flight to Dublin and ordered her to spend some time at his holiday cottage just outside the city.

Meredith at first refused to go but then thought that a change of scenery might be a good idea and stayed there for a few days before returning to London vowing to get the house and her life sorted.
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Derek pov

For Derek the past three weeks had been a constant nightmare.

Leaving Meredith in London was the hardest thing he had ever had to do and he had a horrible feeling in his stomach that she would never forgive him or return to Seattle.