The State of Grace

THREE

Grace

I was so nervous, I hadn't slept much at all last night. It was so scary knowing I was about to see this man, I was about to see a man I had given myself too. I had given him everything but I also had taken away a lot from him too.

I had taken away his freedom, his entire family was now at risk of being charged for a variety of different crimes. I had already implicated Gia being left out of all of this, I had this feeling of protectiveness when it came to her. I don't know why, I just felt like she would protect me.

I wanted to save her, I needed to save her. I knew how much Xavier loved his mother, I knew he would want her safe. So I had already helped out with that.

I stand around by the interview room I would see Xavier in. We weren't allowed any form of privacy, Miller still didn't trust me. I understand why, but I also needed some time away from all the eyes of the FBI. My hands were shaking in fear of everything that was happening right now.

"Are you ready?" I hear Miller come up behind me. I turn around and see him, he looked scared about the idea of me going in there.

I don't reply to him, I just nod in agreement. I didn't really know how to speak to him anymore I felt like I had disappointed him. I was his top agent at one point, the tables had turned so much since then.

"Remember, we can hear everything that is spoken about" He warns me "I also don't want you too give him any kind of a plea, you're not authorised to do that"

I wanted to pull him from that room, I wanted to help him get out and run away together. Of course the chances of that are lower than hell. I just needed to make him understand me, I had to make him aware of why I did it.

"Agreed" I nod.

I stand on one side of the two way mirror knowing soon I would be on the other side. I hear the door open as I watch Xavier enter.

This was not the man I had seen he arrested yesterday, he had been stripped of his suits and now wore an orange jumpsuit. His hair wasn't styled as normal, I felt my heart shatter even more as he lifted his head and I see a huge black eye.

I gasp as my hands come over my mouth in shock.

"Who did that to him!" I turn around to Miller with anger pulsing through my veins.

"Who knows, he's a big target I'm sure"

"You must protect him!"

"We do not have to do anything of the sort" Miller scoffs, I watch him open the door for me to enter.

I knew how much Miller hated Xavier, he would do anything to see him come to harm. To see him 'get what he deserves' but he didn't deserve any of this. He was a good man, I knew this man better than anyone. I knew he was a good man, nothing would ever change my mind on that fact, no matter how much he may hate me.

I wipe my sweaty hands down my jeans before walking into the room. As I step through the door I meet Xavier's eyes, I didn't even know how to look at him anymore. I didn't know if he loved me the way he used too, I didn't know if he hated me.

I make my way over to the chair opposite him, there are no words spoken between us. I just feel his eyes burn into my soul, he was watching my every move. At closer glance I now see he had a busted lip as well.

Seeing him hurt was another dagger to the heart.

"Thank you for seeing me" I breath out, I reach my hands across the table to touch his. Before they connect I watch Xavier pull his hands back from me.

He didn't even want to touch me.

"You're the FBI agent, it wasn't really my choice to see you" He spits back to me, there had been few occasions I remember Xavier talking to me this way.