The State of Grace

THIRTEEN

Xavier

I felt my heart break when I held Grace in my arms, she sobbed as our bodies met right away. I could hold her for hours, but it was getting late and I wouldn't have her getting cold. I had to keep her safe now, she was back in my arms to protect.

I don't say a word, I just lean down and pick her up before carrying her towards the house. I still hadn't really processed the fact that my mother was living with the woman that had ruined my life. That she had protected her from everything she had been through.

As I walked through the gate it shuts behind me, it doesn't take long to hit the front door. My mother was waiting for me on the other side of the door. I bridal carried Grace over the threshold of the door, I had dreamed of doing this for years. Of course when I thought it would happen I believed it actually would have been our wedding day.

"Her bedroom is the second on the right" My mommà tells me, I just nod to her before walking up the stairs with Grace in my arms.

I had hardly spoken too her, I didn't have too much to say to her right now. I had a lot I needed to ask, but my priorities lied with Grace and keeping her safe. I got to her bedroom door and kicked the door open lightly, I see a huge bed in the middle of the room.

It had light pink bedding on, the room was a light beige colour. She had pictures of us all around the room, there were many images and all of them were of us. I felt my heart melt a little, I think my biggest fear when I was behind bars was her forgetting about me.

She had not forgotten about me.

I lay her down on the bed, she pulls me down onto the bed with her.

"Grace" I breath out, we hadn't spoken I knew there was so much to say but I didn't even know where to start. I had a lot to ask, I wanted to know everything that happened leading up to that day.

I want to know what was going through her head, if she ever did love me. If she had no choice at all or if this was 100% her choice.

"I can't right now Xavier, please just lay with me"

So that's what I did. I laid with her all night until I drifted off to sleep with her in my arms like we were meant to be.

~~

The sound of the birds woke me, Grace was still asleep in my arms. I had never felt so refreshed before. It had been years since I had slept well, when you're inside you don't really have the best sleeping schedule. I was always on edge, even though I was top in that prison I knew people had something out for me.

Here I am having slept for hours at a time, I once heard that sleeping in next too the one you love helped you sleep better. It was true, I had never slept so well.

Not since the last time I had slept with Grace.

I stand up from the bed leaving Grace cuddled up under the blanket. I had to speak to my mother, it was too hard to be under the same roof as the women that birthed me yet know nothing about her life now. We were always so close, we had been through a lot together.

She had now knew Grace more than me. I wanted to find out what the hell had happened over the last two years to make Grace like this. There was no way she is this broken from me leaving. Something else had happened and I was damn sure my Mom knew.

I walk down the stairs and see my Mom in the kitchen making breakfast. She was clearly making breakfast for us all, she wasn't going to eat all that food.

"Morning" I speak, I head over to the island before taking a seat opposite her. I watched as she looked up at me from the pan where she was making an omelet. She smiles at me, it was very awkward like we were now strangers.

"How did you and Grace sleep"

She included my name in that sentence but she didn't care. Not anymore, I knew she didn't care at all. Her priorities now lied with Grace, she protected her like her own.

"She's still asleep" I speak, My mom nods back to me as I reply. "What happened to her?" I ask

With that she looks up at me with a frown, I knew she knew exactly what I was talking about. It was obvious something big had happened, something that was being kept from me. I was in the dark over something and something big at that.

"Nothing, it just got hard without you here" She breaths

"So how did you come to be with her?"

"It's a long story"

"I have time"

She was struggling to hold whatever was happening in. I could hardly believe what was happening, my own mother could have potentially betrayed me.

She could have been the reason I got thrown in jail.

"Xavier not now, you have no idea what has been happening-"

"No I don't, I got thrown in prison and my life taken from me for two years. Not once did anyone come and see me, not the woman I love nor the woman that birthed me" I shoot to her, I played fake happy when I came back.

Like prison didn't effect me.

It ruined my life, I feel like the only reason I crave Grace so much is because she was the only person that would bring me back to normality. I had never felt more my self in the six months before I got thrown in prison.

The only reason I did was because of her, she was the reason I was normal. She was also the reason I lost that normality.

"We didn't have a choice, Grace wanted to see you she wanted to tell you. I wouldn't let her it wasn't safe for her and it still isn't"

"Tell me what?" I shoot, I could feel the fury running through my veins. My blood boiled as I stood looking at the one women I should be able to trust. The one person in the world that's supposed to love you no matter what, she didn't anymore.

"It's not my place"

"Tell me damn it!" I slam my fist on the table causing her to jump slightly.

She stops what she's doing, I couldn't handle this much longer. I was at my breaking point, I couldn't even comprehend these people. The women that I loved, they didn't care anymore.

"Xavier" I hear Graces voice behind me.

"Someone tell me what the fuck is going on before I walk out this door and tell everywhere where you are"

It was a huge threat, of course it was an empty one. I would never hurt either of them, but they didn't know me anymore.

I would threaten them until I got what I wanted. I had been through enough hell, I didn't need anything other than the truth.